Green Bay Packer GM: Mahmoud Ahmad-Thompson-inegihad! "I am in charge now, you stupid bastards! ARGGGG!!"

(Crowd applause.)
MAHMOUD AHMAD-THOMPSON-INEGIHAD
"That's right. I am the big boss and I'm one crazy motherfucker. So shut up! That is enough from you infidels! Don't you know I am all-knowing, all-seeing and all-wise, and I have taken over this team because it is time these Packers know the might, fury and insanity of a powerful NFL team owner?? You are ALL IDIOTS!
(BEAT.)
I call all shots from this point on. Remember...I was named NFL Executive of the Year last season. Sporting News thinks I am a genius! Former GM Ron Wolf was my mentor thinks of me fondly, yet I conspired to remove him from office. Screw that bastard! Do not question my authority! Do not counter with your ridiculous claims of honor and tradition and integrity. Fuck the history of this franchise! He, Holmgren, Harlan, Bart Star, Hornung, Taylor, Nitschke, Curly Lambeau (stupid first name), Davis, Reggie - all the greats, are nothing but dung on the bottom of my expensive Italian shoes. Ahmad-Thompson is now in the house! And I throw out ALL tradition. Your Lombardi can kiss my....my brownish tan ass! Winning is NOT EVERYTHING anymore! If we win, we win. If we lose - who cares???? Furthermore, your Lombardi Trophy? I pissed in it last night. Yes, what you think about that, hotshot Packer fans. That's what I think of this little piss ant town. Green and gold - or yellow...whatever the fuck it is. Green like puke and yellow like my piss. That's what I think of your colors. You don't even have any decent cheerleaders with big tits - only fat pom pon girls who are as ugly as the pimples on my ass. I am GM and I have the power to do whatever I want! I will start as quarterback WHO I WANT - raising them as my own, like wolves in the desert; I will shower millions of my dollars on evil, future Hall of Famers in order to dissuade them from trying to take over my team with nothing to show but 16 years of loyalty and service to the utmost degree. I spit on loyalty and service!
(HE SPITS.)
NOTHING will make sense on the Green Bay Packers as long as I am Master; as long as I am the OMNIPOTENT ONE; as long as I tell you that I do things in the best interest of the team when in reality I could give to fucks what I do to RIPPPPPPP this franchise apart!
(SOMEONE IN THE CROWD YELLS, "Blow me!")
"I heard that! Hey - if you don't like it - fuck off! You fans are nothing to me! You suck - I don't care about you! It is about ME - Ahmad-Thompson-inegihad! Go away and let me to my devices! To the one true Allah...me."