"Diary of a Cemeterian".

"...Great is Life, real and mystical, wherever and whoever;
Great is Death—sure as life holds all parts together, Death holds all parts together. Has Life much purport?—Ah, Death has the greatest purport."

- from Walt Whitman's "Great are the Myths"

One chapter completed in my book. There's a sort of calm associated with writing about death.

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11 a.m. & 2nd Breakfast!

Above - Left to right: Pimpernel Bramble of Willbottom, East Farthing (me) and Todo Bracegirdle of Hardbottle (Brian).

So, in celebration of the 75th anniversary of the 1st printing of JRR Tolkien's masterpiece, The Hobbit (Sept. 21, 1937), there was a world-wide 2nd Breakfast held this past Friday at 11am. Hobbits love to eat - and they frequently have a 2nd breakfast. I organized this and Brian, my co-worker - was a willing participant. Green tea, cherry scones and wild honeycombs! It was a thing of beauty!

If you've never heard of Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, or The Hobbit, read here, friend.

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Dear Asshole...

Dear Asshole Who Didn't Clean Up After Their Dog,


I don't know what you've been feeding that pet of yours, but it left a pile of human-sized turds in the middle of the sidewalk. Guess what? This isn't Fido's personal toilet, you asshole! It's a public sidewalk and no one in the neighborhhod wants to walk by, inhale, step in, or otherwise interact with his shit. It's time for you to embrace the responsibilites of pet ownnership. Attach some plastic baggies to your hand. Buy yourself a pooper scooper. Anything. Because the next time you fail to clean up after your dog's dump, I'm going to follow you home and smear it on your pillow. Comprende?


Smooches.


PS Cesar Millan called. He said you were an asshole.

Someone stole my idea. Dang! And, it's written by two women! Nice. Hey assholes, next time your write a book, try including page numbers.

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The King Who Never Smiles. Buy it. You'll smile.

Just don't blog about it because the Thai government says its "unauthorized" and that you'd be committing a crime by doing so IF you're of Thai origin. You can buy it here. In two related articles, an American-born Taiwanese is jailed for two years and Taiwan's crack-down on the king's online critics.

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"Dean & Me". A love story.

I'm a fan of biographies. You learn how not to fuck up. Mike Farrell, Frank McCourt, Malachy McCourt, Frank Lloyd Wright, Bruce Dern, Dean Martin, Elvis, The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Kirk Douglas, Dennis Wilson, Brett Favre, Vince Lombardi, Richard Burton, Howard Stern, Abbie Hoffman, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams...and more to get to. Had I read Dean & Me (A Love Story), by Jerry Lewis, I would've finished it in a day (I took three days). Fast read. Funny read. Deano's my favorite all-around entertainer - and I loved these guys as a team and individually.

Hey look! It's me and the "original" Ricci Martin, Deano's 2nd son, at a gig in Pasadena. I got to know Ricci a bit through the Carl Wilson Cancer Foundation. Chip off the old block.

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"Duck! Rabbit!".

Here's a preview of my goddaughter's favorite book, "Duck! Rabbit!", from Chronicle Books. At least, it's her favorite book now. I've read it to her twice already. Written by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and illustrated by Tom Lichtenheld, "Duck! Rabbit!" is a fun premise and I like the fact that it's not written at a 2-year-old's level like your typical, "See Dick Run" books. Read the New York Times book review.

I think it looks like a rabbit...

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Sam Shepard's latest. And a "Fool for Love".

I was reading a review in the local paper of Shepard's latest book and I was immediately whisked back to the 1997 "Fool for Love" production I was in at the Riverside Theatre in Iowa City (regional theater). It was my first "comedic" turn...which is pretty interesting as the play is far from a being a comedy.

Left to right: Christi Kathol, me and Levy Lee Simon. I remember telling Lee during one particular moment in rehearsals to throw me up against the wall a little harder (I'm not a Method actor per se). He did. This play is intense in its words. Once the actors make the words come to life on stage, it's a powder keg. And Lee's bigger than I. One of my favorite theater experiences.

Read the New York Times review of Shepard's book.

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Mike Farrell's, "Of Mule and Man". Read it.

"Not since Steinbeck's Travels with Charley in Search of America has there been a more beautifully written and compelling journey into the heartland of America. Mike Farrell celebrates his beloved country with great honesty and sincerity, with humility and grace. A beautiful and courageous book."
- Ron Kovic, author of Born on the Fourth of July

Mike Farrell - actor, writer, director, producer and social activist - pens a poignant journey of his travels across the United States in his rented Prius, "Mule", while promoting his autobiography, Just Call Me Mike: A Journey to Actor and Activist. I thought the most appropriate manner in which I could discuss this book is to just reprint the email I sent Mike:


Mike,

Received Of Mule and Man on Wednesday. Finished Saturday morning. Should’ve finished it sooner, but with the impending move back to WI I was interrupted. Otherwise, couldn’t put it down. Your penchant for storytelling is remarkable – second nature. You’re writing is perfect. Interestingly, those who’ve read my plays overwhelmingly say that my style of writing dialogue is…well, it sounds natural. Like, this is how people talk. And isn’t that how a play should read - as if it's real-life (at least, those that do, in fact, reflect real-life)?

Obviously, I wasn’t aware Shelley broke her hip. Ouch! I trust the healing process is going well. My thoughts are with her. Interesting to think how the book might have read with her along for the trip. And your son got married! Very nice…congratulations to him and his bride.

Random thoughts. That paragraph about “who needs the radio” and talking to yourself? Hilarious. Do it all the time. I’ve always said ‘if I don’t listen to myself talk, why should I expect others to?’ Loved the cover design of the book. Loved “riding” along with you throughout your incredible cross-country journey (what…no stops in WI???). After having read your bio and now this book, I can’t help but think how striking the similarities are between you and your character “BJ” on MASH. The book, unequivocably, gets 5 stars (I may blog about it - 1,000 hits a week...who knows who I can influence to read it).

Finally, though we DO share commonalities in our social and political beliefs, we also share differences. But that’s beside the point. Your unwavering passion for your beliefs is admirable. I love the word “passion” and I love passionate people – even those I disagree with on certain issues. (There’s a reason I named my blog, PASSION = TRUTH). I would follow you into a firestorm because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you would have my back, as I would have yours. Nobody’s perfect. You nor I. But I find you to be an honorable man (which is the same word your son used when I had those beers with him a few years ago). THAT is an important character trait.

Ha – you’ll get no argument from me that I believe you’re lucky to have Shelley in your life. But – she’s also very lucky to have you in her’s.

When’s the next book comin’ out, dammit!!??? I’m ready for more…

Best regards,
Jeff Ircink

PS – if you ever run into Mule again (or a relative) give her/him my best

And yes - Mike emailed me back. If you click on the Amazon banner at the top of the blog page, you can order Mike's book from there.

Book cover design: Jon Resh
Front cover photo: Chris Downie/Ninja Monkey Studio
Author photo: Patricia Williams/Human Rights Watch

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"The Gingerbread Man". A tale for "early readers"? Really?

Donovan and Maria were sorting through Grace's books, preparing a bag of discards for Goodwill. This book made the discard pile. You remember the story of "The Gingerbread Man", don't you? This little old woman makes a gingerbread man with two raisin eyes and a smiley mouth. Just as she was about to eat him, he pops of the plate and runs out the door, yelling, "Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man!"

OK - he comes off as a little prick. One could argue that he was only saving his skin. But we all have our place in the food chain and he's a COOKIE. Now during his travels, the gingerbread man says the same thing to a cow and a horse and a sly fox, who tricks the gingerbread man into riding on his back across the river, then gobbles the gingerbread man up.

Ooooooo. I can't look! Tell me when it's over! What a frightening picture for an early reader - the fox, silhouetted, teeth barred, ready to chow down the gingerbread man. Is this the image of the prickish gingerbread man you wanna leave with a 2-year-old before you tuck her into bed at night. "Sweet dreams, baby."?

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Kristin Chenoweth's memoirs, Charlie Brown and the masturbating fan.

I can't wait until Chenoweth's memoirs hit bookstores in April. She'll be 41 in July; her book must be chock full of advice, memories and other anecdotes that she's experienced in a lifetime. Or...at least 41 years anyway.

Like the story of the fan who was masturbating during the song, "My New Philosophy" while Chenoweth performed the role of Sally in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown".

I've been a Charlie Brown/The Peanuts/Charles Schultz/Snoopy fan my entire life. Sad to say that now when I think of Charlie Brown, the second picture in my head will be of a man masturbating in a theater. Thanks, Kristin. And thanks for writing about your 41 years of life experiences. I'll put my Frank Lloyd Wright or Ronald Reagan bios away for now and read yours.

(One more thing. Why Kristin Chenoweth? I contend there's a much better selection of celebs with not-so-whiney speaking voices.)

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A boy and his dog.

My brother Jason and Molly.

"How had he forgotten that in the months after his father's death, she (his dog, Almondine) alone could console him, nosing him precisely the instant to break some spiral of despair? How had he forgotten that some day she'd saved him simply by leaning against him?"
- from "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle"

I'm reading this book and I was struck by this passage. It's about a deaf boy and his dogs in Northern Wisconsin in the early 1970's. If you own (or owned) a dog, I'm sure you'll be struck as well.

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