Airline "cuts" fees?? Watch for low flying pigs & Happy Monday!

Frontier Airlines (the airlines whose parent company, Republic, scooped up Milwaukee's beloved Midwest Airlines) is cutting it's fee IN HALF for customers who change their tickets AND is offering a $5 discount for passengers who check their bags online.

They've even continued offering a free, freshly made chocolate chip cookie (Midwest's idea). Now if we could just get the comfortable, Business Class seating back (again, Midwest's idea) I'd say we're in business. Oink!

In a related airline story, during my recent trip to North Carolina, TSA felt the need to search my checked bag - on the way out and on the way back. So head's up, travelers...if you're transporting maple syrup or wine. (I even told the TSA agent in Milwaukee about my maple syrup and he shrugged his shoulders like "I don't care". Apparently, your boss does care, ASSHOLE!

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"Aye...Stupid Bastards!" Ryanair to piss off customers.

Ireland's Ryanair once ran an ad campaign headlined, "Expensive Bastards!", comparing Ryanair with British Airways. This time around, it's Ryanair that's the "bastards"...for charging it's customers to pee.

Based in Dublin, Ryanair operates over 1,000 routes across Europe and Morocco. It's reputation as a low-cost airlines with no-frills isn't a kept secret. Its vinyl seats don't recline, there are no seat-back pockets, safety cards are stuck on the back of the seats and life jackets are stowed overhead rather than under the seat - all to save on costs. And if you miss a flight, Ryanair won't compensate you.

But Ryanair's not finished. The airline is introducing a "toilet tax", forcing passengers to pay around $1.30 (U.S.) to use the toilet. On top of that, Ryanair is reducing the number of toilets on its planes to ONE.

Hold on to your shamrock, lads and lasses...I'm not done. You'll also be charged $22-$30 for your carry-on during the summer months. Saving costs? That's what you'd think, but really it's for our own good - 'cause Ryanair cares about its customers. Ryanair spokesperson Stephen McNamara told the New York Daily News:

We are determined to incentivize passengers to travel light this summer by increasing our checked-in baggage fees for the months of July and August only...By charging for the toilets we are hoping to change passenger behavior so that they use the bathroom before or after the flight. That will enable us to remove two out of three of the toilets and make way for at least six extra seats.

If you know me, you know I love the Irish. And I love Ireland. But this is shite. As the old Gaelic saying goes, "Cùm do chù ri leigeadh". Translated: "Hold back your dog till the deer falls." Really?

Not that this will effect many U.S. travelers - yet. You know the airline industry. They love to follow suit. So thanks, Ryanair, for setting a precedent. Thanks for charging for carry-ons (Spirit in the U.S. is already doing this). And for taking away all the bathrooms but one - then adding more seats. And then charging us to poop and pee. Shucks. I didn't know you cared that much.

Check out these Ryanair links: Ryanair parody on cheap travel and the making of the Ryanair cabin crew calender.

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Jeff from Wisconsin meet Jeff from Wisconsin.

Jeff Skiles (left) from Oregon, WI. Co-pilot of US Airways Flight 1549 that safely landed in the Hudson River in January. Jeff Ircink (right) - me - from Waterford, WI. Actor, playwright, blogger, amateur photog, bitcher, Beach Boy groupee, Brett Favre-lover, fisherman and bowhunter.

Anything I've ever done in my life up to this point is insignificant compared to what this man helped to do that January day in the sky above New York City.

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Flight attendants on Branson' new VAustralia. This is foreign to me.

As part of Virgin's new Australian long haul carrier, V Australia's new Australia-to-Los Angeles leg, V Australia ran this double truck (whatever it's called) in Variety today. This is the front of it. The service opened officially today with a big soiree in LA. Sir Richard Branson is sparing no expense - take a look inside. I believe that V Australia's been around since 2007 sometime.

Sure looks like a friendly airline to fly, doesn't it? I don't think I'll get jimminy legs with this crew. Wonder why the attendants on my LA-Milwaukee or LA-Chicago flights don't look like this?

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