Ultimate vanity. $675,000 for a license plate.

CBS Sunday Morning did a segment on license plates this past weekend. Back in 2008, a Delaware man paid $675,000 at an auction for the "No. 6" DE license plate. Seriously. Fifty years ago, the state's license plates were black and white. The governor had "No. 1", the lieutenant governor had "No. 2", the secretary of state had "No. 3" and so on. When the state changed license plate colors, the old tag owners were allowed to keep the plates and they have since jumped in value.

By comparison, the highest price fetched for a UK license was around $850,000 and the "No. 1" tag in the UAE sold for $14 million. Which begs the question - why? Why pay this amount of money for a freakin' license plate? 'Cause you have so much money you don't know what to do with it? Try giving it to a charity, assholes.

Always wondered what my vanity plate would say (should I ever choose to get one). They're only $15 in Wisconsin. PLARITE (I write plays). HONGO (Made-up word from my childhood). PASSION (My favorite word but probably taken). ILVDINO (Big Dean Martin fan). GOAWAY (The grandpa in me). BBCHBOY (I'm a huge Beach Boy fan). BOHEMI or BOHUNK (My Czech/Bohemian heritage). How 'bout this one:

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If you're a female BMW owner , you may be a "Boastful Mary Wanker".

"Boastful Mary Wanker" (BMW): A very proud female BMW owner, who's very nice but can be bitchy at the same time. If you've never heard of the radio talk show, Car Talk, then you either 1) don't listen to NPR or 2) spend too much time with your head under a car hood to listen to a car talk show.

It's broadcast weekly on National Public Radio throughout the United States and covers anything about cars and car repair with a sense of humor, hosted by brothers Tom and Ray Magliozzi, also known as "Click and Clack", the "Tappet Brothers". These guys are long-time car mechanics...and they're not your typical "car heads". Ray has a BS degree in humanities and science from MIT and Tom has a BS in economics from MIT and an MBA and DBA from the Boston University Graduate School of Management. Car Talk was first broadcast in Boston in 1977. It was picked up nationally by NPR ten years later and is currently on more than 370 stations, heard by more than two million weekly listeners.

This week's show featured a segment on automotively-inspired words. Car Talk's Click & Clack meet "Urban Dictionary". You can see more on the Car Talk website:

Subris (n) (rhymes with hubris) - the excessive pride which causes one to drive their Subaru off the road on a snowy day, thinking they could drive as fast as they want since they have all wheel drive. Victims of Subris generally lose any respect they had earned among passersby for having a great car.

Jag-S - That self important Pointy Haired Boss who uses up FOUR parking spots for his precious Jaguar.

Acurat - teen-something whos daddy bought an Acura

Volksy - adjective - referring to the kind, organic food, green movement, broom stick skirt, flower carrying type of life style often associated with Volkswagon owners.

slOwldsmobile - A blue hair peering under the steering wheel yet over the dash, usually driving 15mph.

Priusness (n) (rhymes with piousness) - the smug sense of self satisfaction felt by hybrid vehicle owners as they zip from the nearest $3.00 a latte Starbucks to their local Purse Dog Beauty Salon.

Camaro-isma (n) - The boost in sheer, unadulterated animal magnetism that young men hope to obtain when they make their first vehicle purchase an affordably priced sports car. Rampant in small towns, Ohio, and other places stuck in the 1980's.

Mercedes-Bends (n) - A painful and potentially debilitating condition caused by the formation of nitrogen bubbles in the blood, the direct result of purchasing an outrageously expensive German car. Tends to flare up every 30 days or so, typically just before sending in the monthly car payment.

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