"Hell-A Woman". From Season 1 of "Californication".

One of my favorite scenes from one of the first episodes. Hank is a novelist from New York who's bitter about how Hollywood "treated" the movie based on his best-selling novel. He has writer's block and, against his better judgement, takes a blogging job at the behest of his ex, who's fiance owns the company Hank would be blogging for. Here are some of Hank's thoughts as he writes his first blog post....very poignant. (Adult language, kiddies)

Season 3 starts at the end of the month. Well-written comedy. One of the best on television.

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"The L Word" series finale? Lez than fulfilling. Whoo!

I know - it's just a television show.

So was MASH, Seinfeld and The Sopranos. Seems "The L Word" creator Ilene Chaiken has pissed off millions of faithful viewers of her popular Showtime drama that made lipstick lesbians in West Hollywood chic for six seasons. And I don't blame them. The viewers, that is.

I missed Seasons 3 & 4 (I think...the whole Dana cancer storyline) because I didn't have Showtime, which sucked because Dana was my favorite character. The series finale was built up to monumental status..."Who Killed Jenny Schecter?" You were made privy to the fact that she died in the first episode and the rest of the season was devoted to "flashbacking" the events that lead up to Jenny's death.

The problem is that in last night's series finale, the question, "Who Killed Jenny Schecter?" was never answered with any finality. Quite frankly, all the characters had a motive to kill Jenny. I had a motive...Jenny was a bitch and I wanted her dead since last season. (The character turn that Jenny took was too sudden and unbelievable for me. I blame the writers for that.)

Everyone has their own theory on what happened, but no one really knows for certain. I, for one, think Jenny committed suicide. It was really the only honorable thing left for the bitch to do. And I don't think any of the other lesbians are "killers" in the purest sense of the word. The only for-sure clues the audience is given are the following:

1) Bette was the last person the audience SAW with Jenny - ripping her a new one on the stair landing where the railing was yet unfinished. This was during the day.

2) Alice was the one who entered the living room announcing Jenny was dead (floating in the pool). Where she was just prior to that we don't know. All the main characters were present in that room. There was no indication how long Jenny had been in the pool and it was evening out. Oddly, Chaiken's new pitch, "The Farm", is about straight women and lesbians in prison and the lead character is Alice. Why is Alice in prison? Could it be that in "The Farm" we'll find out she killed Jenny? Chaiken said that premise would not necessarily be the correct one. Odd.

3) Alice's girlfriend, Tasha, enters after Jenny's body has been shipped off to the morgue and the cast is sitting around in shock with the police.

4) Nikki (the actress) is found in the bushes near the pool by police. No - it's not even clear cut that she did it. She was on her way to the party, saw the cop commotion and hid. That's what she said anyway.

5) There's talk of an "L Word" movie, which may be another reason why the series (and the who murdered Jenny) were not wrapped up so tightly.

Here's the problem I have with taking a cop-out approach. On SheWired.com, Chaiken was asked why was Jenny Schecter killed at all? And Chaiken said, "I think the entire season is dedicated to answering that question. So I think that I would be doing the show a disservice if I were to answer it. I mean, really you're meant to want to know the answer to that throughout the entire season."

And yet, we didn't get the answer. I don't understand why writers and producers feel the need to be cute and mysterious? I don't mind "twist" endings (as a playwright) - at least there's some finality. I think it comes down to selfishness (creators) and greed ("The L Word" movie). It's akin to a guy manipulating marionettes - or puppets. Control and power - there's your answer. 'I created this series and I can end it anyway I see fit'. Chaiken even admitted on camera that had she known the public outcry over Dana's death would be so deafening she may have rethought that plotline. During the one-hour special leading up to the series finale, Jennifer Beals (Bette) and Laurel Holloman (Tina) were lauding the viewers about how that without "our" support the show would not have been possible.

Considering her "questioning" Dana's death, why then did Chaiken give all of "us" who helped keep "The L Word" alive such a bullshit finale, one she had to know would piss her core viewers off?

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Jenny's dead.

The last season of Showtime's The L Word started off with a bang (or I should say, a "gurgle, gurgle") - specifically, Jenny's death by drowning. The remainder of the season is a flash-back leading up to her demise. Someone wanted her dead - but who? WHO I SAY???!!!

Good. Jenny turned into a raving bitch and she deserved to die. I wrote on an L Word message board last season that I was a bit confused and taken aback by Jenny's personality turn and that it leaned more toward a caricature or a stereotypical "raving bitch" - and thus, not believable to me.

Jenny's dead. That's a good thing. But the actress who plays her, Mia Kirshner, is very much alive. That's a good thing too.

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"Little garlic, dash of parsley and a couple squirts of chocolate. Cooking - Chloe Metz-style!"

Actress Meredith Monroe guest-starred on Showtime's Californication as crazy TV personality/chef, Chloe Metz. Oh, Lord.

The freaking hilarious scene with David Duchovny is here. Now, there's no nudity but there is obscene language so this link is not for the kiddies. If you have Showtime and missed this episode, you have got to see it (I believe they re-run them). It just ran on Sunday - "Vaginatown".

Very cute - but alas, she is wed. (In case you saw this post earlier, there's a couple stories below that were posted after this: BABY AS SHIELD AGAINST TASER and THE FULL TITLE FOR THE BOOK, "KIDNAPPED".

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Why won't Catherine of Aragon just shut up?

Season 2 of The Tudors just started on Showtime. Catherine of Aragon was Henry VIII's first wife and Queen of England, but as she could not bear Henry any male heirs, he tired of her and eventually married Anne Boleyn.

Practically every scene with Catherine is her standing her ground, saying she's in love with Henry and that she won't leave him and that regardless of what happens she is Henry's lawfully-wedded wife and England's only rightful Queen Consort (which she avowed until her death).

Why can't she get it through her thick head that Henry doesn't love her and doesn't want her around anymore? And why would she want to stick around in a loveless marriage? Pathetic idiot. I would've cut her head off just to get her to shut up.

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Two of my Venice Canal shots featured on "Californication"

In anticipation of the 2nd season of Showtime's Californication, I just finished re-watching the first season. I'll cut to the punch - star and executive producer David Duchovny is brilliant (recently won a Golden Globe) in his turn as Hank Moody, a novelist who moved to Venice, CA to from NYC in order to see his name on the big screen, but it turns out he hates LA, lost the woman of his dreams that he had a love child with, and drinks, smokes and screws everything in sight - this show is not for kids. That being said ('cause I'm no kid), the writing, acting and music is an A+ all the way through. It's one of the smartest shows on TV.

I'll give you a little taste - three clips you have to watch: 1) select scenes from Season 1, Episode 1 http://youtube.com/watch?v=4zarPHvSd1A, 2) Hank Hates You All http://youtube.com/watch?v=7C7E_Z81uR8 and 3) http://youtube.com/watch?v=IWJhAOnJIzI Hank knows how to sweet-talk a woman on the first date.

Truthfully, perhaps one of the reasons I'm attracted to the show is that I identify with the character of Hank. Could be a little of me in Hank. Or is it a little of Hank in me? Maybe it's David Duchovny. Anyway, I love the show, though I shouldn't really make that public. One of the last shows I loved was Rome on HBO and it was yanked after two seasons.

Which brings me to these pictures. I took them last summer along the Venice Canals. The one above is featured in my book, PASSION = TRUTH, A photographic essay on life's truths (see right panel for order information). BOTH vistas are featured in Episode 9, "Filthy Lucre" at about the 14 minute mark. You can see the boats in the picture above in the master shot below, at the left base of the bridge. See?

None of this means anything. Just thought it was funny when I saw the shots in the show. Like minds...you know.

Stay tuned for a post on the women in Hank's life and more YouTube clips from the show. "Dude, dude...she's gonna blow."

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Short Cuts

* John Travolta set to star in the remake of the 1974 flick, The Taking of Pelham 1,2,3. He'll reprise the role originated by Robert Shaw (Jaws, A Man for All Seasons) as the leader of a foursome that hijacks a Gotham subway and ransoms its passengers. I'll take the Shaw version over Travolta's any day. You gonna argue with "Quint" from Jaws?

* Robert DeNiro to star in Frankie Machine, the story of a retired mob hitman who runs a bait and tackle and is pulled back into the business (Michael Corleone, sound familiar?). I love DeNiro but a mob guy - ain't that a stretch??

* AskMen.com conducted a poll and one million people voted on the "manliest" men. The soccer play Beckham was voted #1. Justin Timberlake was #5. Really? "Manly" and "Justin Timberlake" have never been in any sentence I've uttered, so I'm not sure who voted. Suffice it to say I would never "ask Men" anything about being a men. Ever (I never did anyway).

* Two television shows in fear of losing me as a viewer: Grey's Anatomy and Heroes. Never cared for Sandra Oh and it's the same shit every week and my attention is waning. I find myself fast forwarding to all the Katherine Heigl scenes anyway. Same with Heroes - I hate the villian (I know you're supposed to hate the villain, but I don't like that actor) and I read that Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) is joining the cast as a new hero. Don't like Kristen Bell either. And I'm fast forwarding to all the Ali Larter scenes.

* If you're not watching Californication on Showtime (and you have Showtime), you're missing out. Smart writing. Clever plots lines. David Duchovny (X Files) is excellent and the supporting cast is just as good. It's filmed on location right down the street in Venice, CA.

* Mad Men need to learn how to smoke. I enjoy watching this new show on AMC, about the ad biz in NYC during the early 60's - I spent some time in an in-house ad agency and loved it and have always been fascinated by that industry. As you can imagine, there's a lot of smoking throughout the show - it was a reflection of the times and the agency represents a cigarette manufacturer. Problem is there's smoking in just about every scene which gets very annoying AND a number of the actors look like they've never smoked, particularly the lead, John Hamm, who plays Don Draper. Not knowing how to hold or smoke a cigarette is good for your health - not for the credibility of the characters these actors portray. Just an FYI, John.

* The walls have ears. Halle Berry is the lastest celeb to speak off the cuff. She made a comment on Jay Leno that could be considered (probably) offensive by many Jews. Not sure what backlash, if any, will come of it, but it's just a matter of time before the Anti-Defamation League (Jewish) admonishes Berry (and she's black and should know better). Is it just me or can't a guy take a piss anymore without first getting permission from the Jews and the NAACP and the Mayans and PETA and whomever else deems my words or actions (or yours) as either appropriate or offensive. The Anti-Defamation League has recently published a report expressing its concern over various groups who are targeting illegal immigrants, afraid their tactics and rhetoric too closely resemble those of the KKK and other Nazi factions/hate organizations. One of the groups the Anti-Defamation League listed is Americans for Legal Immigration Political Action Committee. The first two lines in their platform read:

ALIPAC supporters have a diverse range of opinions, yet we are united in the belief that more should be done to reduce illegal immigration.

ALIPAC supports those that legally immigrate, but we DO NOT support any amnesty, visa expansion, or "Guest Worker" program designed to reward illegal aliens or legalize their presence in the US.

Not sure what the Anti-Defamation League sees there that's wrong, but - well, they're the Anti-Defamation League...they can say anything, can't they.

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