Airline "cuts" fees?? Watch for low flying pigs & Happy Monday!

Frontier Airlines (the airlines whose parent company, Republic, scooped up Milwaukee's beloved Midwest Airlines) is cutting it's fee IN HALF for customers who change their tickets AND is offering a $5 discount for passengers who check their bags online.

They've even continued offering a free, freshly made chocolate chip cookie (Midwest's idea). Now if we could just get the comfortable, Business Class seating back (again, Midwest's idea) I'd say we're in business. Oink!

In a related airline story, during my recent trip to North Carolina, TSA felt the need to search my checked bag - on the way out and on the way back. So head's up, travelers...if you're transporting maple syrup or wine. (I even told the TSA agent in Milwaukee about my maple syrup and he shrugged his shoulders like "I don't care". Apparently, your boss does care, ASSHOLE!

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Airlines CEO's pay goes up; public still nickeled & dimed.

Continental CEO Jeff Smisek (left), who helped merge United with Continental, and Glenn Tilton, CEO of United, received a shitload of money (Smisek = $4.4 million total compensation, Tilton = $16.8 million) in recent pay raises.

Fine. Whatever. So if these airlines are making that much money (because we're always hearing how the airlines are in bad shape), why is it that consumers are still paying checked bag fees, exorbitant ticket change fees, this fee and that fee? Why do some airlines offer you the entire can of soda but others just offer a cup? Why is "no smoking" printed on the back of every seat? How much does that cost the airlines? And why are there still idiots who think they don't have to turn their iPods off when directed to by the stewards?

And while I'm on the subject, why does the seat space on every airplane I fly seem to be shrinking (because they do shrink the space, did you know that?). Seriously, if I put the tray down and place my computer on it my hands are literally pinned to my chest.

Click here for the full story. Oh wait...the executives who left United in the merger? They also get lifetime flight benefits, elite frequent-flier status and lifetime membership in the company's airport lounge clubs. Quaint. Nickel & dime, baby.

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Fuck British Airways. Fuck Korean Air. Fuck Air France-KLM. Fuck Lufthansa...

...Fuck Virgin Atlantic. Fuck Cathay Pacific Airways. Fuck Japan Airlines. Fuck All Nippon Airways. And fuck the 13 other international airlines - for price-fixing.

By the way, no U.S. carriers were fined.

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AirTran can lick my lingum.

If you're planning a flight on AirTran Airways anytime soon, don't bother booking through their website.

My brother and I recently purchased tickets for our June trip to Cali and we discovered AirTran now charges a "seat fee" . Cocksuckers. They've been doing this for a year and we've all heard rumblings about "added fees" airlines, so I wasn't surprised. Just taken aback. I was under the impression that my $265 flight (which is a good price) covered my seat on the plane? Makes sense? Nope. $20 seat fee each way.

Not on Priceline. The exact same flight via Priceline's website doesn't have the $20 seat fee. So I saved $40.

So the next time you think about flying with AirTran, go to Priceline first. Read here about some of the other ingenious ways airlines are trying to pinch you. And thanks, Mr. Shatner...live long and prosper.

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