Origami No. 19. Big fish don't mean shit.

"You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn’t mean you’ve won
‘Cause a long may come
A bigger one"

Lyrics to Coldplay's "Lost!". I'm not a fan, per-se. But I enjoy some of their songs. Heard this song in a coffeehouse today. Made me think.

Made me think about my home. Wisconsin. Waterford, specifically. And my family and friends there. And my theater friends in Iowa. And my friends in Illinois and Minnesota and Indiana. Arizona. And those I cherish here in California. LA. Tinseltown. Hollyweird.

It's about keeping everything in check. Knowing who you are and realizing that the world doesn't revolve around you. Tough order in a town like Hollywood where it IS all about the stars. It's about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about adapting, but keeping your own skin close by - just in case you need a reality check. It's about a lot of things. Mainly, it's about you being you.

It's also about sticking to your guns, something the actor Gary Sinise told me (in a letter). It's about having an opinion no matter what others tell you. It's about having convictions and being real and not taking shit.

ABOVE: A picture of a picture in a picture frame. Me as Tom Wingfield on stage at Theatre Cedar Rapids in Tennessee William's, "The Glass Menagerie" (1995). Took it when I was home for Christmas in 2007. Ovation winner for Best Actor in a Play that year. Big fish.

Appropriate song for Hollywood. Everybody here is a rock star. Eveyone's a wannabe. Everybody's somebody. And they don't all love you. Is that a bad thing? I guess it depends on the person you are on the inside. There's nothing wrong with wanting success. To be somebody. We all wanna "slay the beast", a poignant phrase coined by my musician buddy, Nick Perkins, in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Most of us have our own agenda. Our nut to crack. Our rice bowl (dated racist term but fits).

Funny, as I'm writing this the Violent Femmes' song, "Gone Daddy Gone", popped on the radio. It appeared on their debut album in 1982. They're from Madison, Wisconsin. They were huge while I was attending college in the 80's. Big fish? Maybe.

Then again, aren't we all big fish in some small way? Just watch where you swim.