An Erotic Exhibition I'm Not Gonna Miss

I'm headed to Cedar Rapids, Iowa this weekend, March 30-April 1, for UNcover: An Art Exhibition with An Erotic Vibe. Hey, Cedar Rapids is becoming hip these days. Back to my old theater stomping grounds for a fun-filled weekend of nude paintings, nude photography and dirty performance pieces. Artists from 13 states, Russia and Norway will have their art on display. I wrote and entered a 10-minute play called, "Pass the Salt, Please". Synopsis? OK - imagine what would happen if the dinner conversation of a married couple in their 50’s resembled the script pages of a scene in a pornographic film? As these two catch up on the day’s events, their banter morphs from “ho-hum” to “whoop-eee!” – without missing a “bite”. The scene reflects the state of sex in the America of the feminine mystique, as viewed by feminist Betty Friedan.

Anyway, lots of my theater compadres will be in attendance, along with a few nude - and painted waitresses - which made my decision to attend all the more worth it. A little wine, some fancy appetizers and the right music and who knows - maybe we'll have a reenactment of the "be-in" scene from HAIR (which I actually performed in). Plus I cast the play and directed it - the little direction it needed, so I'm excited. Oh - the photo is by photographer Tracy Lee of Washington D.C. She'll have seven of her photographs on display at the exhibit. Check out http://www.uncovercr.com/UNcoverPoster.pdf for the poster information and look in the top right corner.

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Jason & Molly at the marketplace

My brother - we're as close as two brothers could ever be. He runs his own electrical company - Pacific Electric - in Waterford, Wisconsin. He's also one hell of an outdoorsman. Gun deer, bow hunt deer, pheasant, grouse, turkey, fishing, duck hunting, etc. And I feel honored to be able to share some of these moments "in the bush" with him. The dog's Molly. American water spaniel - first bred in Wisconsin as a hunting dog. Jas and I didn't grow up with animals in the house as my mom and dad had had their fill when they were growing up. We had a fish and guinea pig. The fish went down the toilet and Jason overfed "Squeaky" (but we don't wanna bring that up with Jas). So I pretty much grew up animal ambivalent. Then I met Molly, and now she's part of our family. Man's best friend? Unconditional love? Never thought much about those things when it came to a dog. I do now.

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Namedropping

My best friend, Tom Kazar, lived in Long Beach for 8 years or so right after we graduated from college. When I moved to LA in 1998, he told me, “Irc, keep one thing in mind – you have everything you could ever want at your fingertips in Los Angeles. Enjoy it while you’re there”. So, ever since I moved here, people have asked me, “have you met anyone famous?”. Here’s the list – saves me the trouble of sitting there with a dumb look on my face when I’m being grilled. NOTE: These are folk I’ve actually met and had a meaningful discussion with. Don’t ask me about what.

Brian Wilson – The Beach Boys “genius”, Wendy Wilson, Carnie Wilson, Chynna Phillips, Marilyn Wilson – Brian Wilson’s ex, Barbara Wilson – Dennis Wilson’s ex, Justyn Wilson – Carl Wilson’s son, Jonah Wilson – Carl Wilson’s son, Ricci Martin – Dean Martin’s son, Jeanne Martin – Dean Martin’s ex, Carl B. Wilson – Dennis Wilson’s son, Michael Wilson – Dennis Wilson’s son, Billie Hinsche – former musician with the Beach Boys and now touring with Al Jardine of the Beach Boys, Anne Hinsche – Carl Wilson’s ex, Jeff Foskett – singer/musician with Brian Wilson, Jay – owner of Chez Jay’s - Dennis Wilson’s favorite hangout, Ed Figuero – former drummer for the Beach Boys, Desi Arnaz Jr., Karen Lamm – Dennis Wilson’s ex-wife, former model/actress, wonderful woman, Jon Stebbins – author of The Real Beach Boy, bio of Dennis Wilson, Alan Boyd – producer of Endless Harmony, Beach Boys bio on VH1, Ed Roach – photographer for the Beach Boys, Jerry Schilling – Memphis Mafia/Elvis’ former mgr., Carl Wilson’s former mgr., Steve Kalinich – co-writer with Dennis Wilson, The Honey’s – Brian Wilson’s girl surf band in the 60’s, Jan Berry & Dean Torrance – Jan & Dean, 60’s surf band pioneers, Earl Hamner Jr. – creator of The Walton’s, Michael Learned – mother in The Walton’s, Jon Walmsley – Jim-Bob in The Walton’s, Seymour Cassell – starred in a lot of John Cassavettes films, The Life Aquatic, Rob Reiner, Merv Griffin, Eugene Levy – SCTV, Waiting for Guffman, Carlos Alazraqui - the voice of the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Reno 911!, Bruce Boxleitner, Megan Gallagher – China Beach, Jack Klugman, Bruce Dern, Jeff Conaway, Dominic Monaghan, Cory Feldman, Mike Farrell – son of Mike Farrell from MASH, Dan Lauria – father from The Wonder Years, Alley Mills – mother from The Wonder Years, Richard Roxburgh – Van Helsing, Mission Impossible II, Tim Conway, Ernest Borgnine, Michelle Phillips – Mamas & the Papas, Doug McKeon - the boy in On Golden Pond, Dick Martin – from Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, Scott Bakula, Ashton Kutcher, Steven Lisberger – Screenwriter of Tron, Martinez, A. – The Cowboys, Port Charles, Santa Barbara, Don Cornelius – creator and host, Soul Train, Corbin Bernsen – LA Law, Major League, Joe Lando – Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman .

I think I'm tickled the most by the Beach Boys-related celebs as I've been a Beach Boy groupie since high school. Everyone was extremely laid back - like old friends, and I've met them all (as has my brother, Jason) on several occasions while involved with the Carl Wilson Cancer Foundation. Eugene Levy and I had a succinct conversation while standing at the bathroom urinals at Rob Reiner's production company in Beverly Hills. Earl Hamner is an avid fisherman and has a beautiful, trophy marlin on the wall in his office in Studio City. What a thrill it was meeting him! If you didn't already know, the TV series, The Waltons, was based on Earl's real life in Virginia, and Earl IS John-Boy, who was my inspiration to major in Journalism in college. John-Boy, that is. Well...Earl, too, I guess. Also, that was Earl's voice you heard narrating each episode. Ricci Martin, Dean Martin's son, is a wonderful man and a chip off the old block (I'll get to Deano in another blog). Karen Lamm - well I'm gonna keep most of that story to myself. Embodiment of the 70's Californian girl, she was a model/actress and graced billboards, television and magazine ads, while hanging out with Jack Nicholson and Elliott Gould, and she was married to Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys twice. I first met Karen at her apartment in West LA, and as she eyed me up and down, she said that if she had met me "back in the day" she woulda "went for me in a second"...which has to be one of the most flattering things anyone has ever shared with me. Her heart gave out in 2001 and most certainly was taken from this life much too early - she was 49. I went to her funeral and the reception that followed at her sister's house. Elliott Gould, Judd Nelson and Catherine Bach were in attendance. I'm thankful I got to know her that last year of her life...and I think of her often.

I probably missed a couple. There's a bunch I've seen from afar (Tom Cruise - 20 yards) or seen and just said "hi" to (Jack Lemmon, walking his poodle) - but I didn't bother to get into all that. You might have noticed Mel Gibson and Brett Favre are not on the list. Yet.

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Peyton Manning is...

...a dick. Need I say more?

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A Plug for a Band that Doesn't Need a Plug

If you haven't heard the band Evanescence yet, go out and buy their CD Fallen (2003). Bring Me To Life and My Immortal are two of the songs that pop out at me. Yah - I know this old news to some of you - anyway, the lead singer - Amy Lee? Her voice - I haven't heard anything like that since Madonna. Seriously, when this woman sings, and it's especially evident on the band's videos (do an internet search), she lays her kidney, spleen and other vital organs on the stage for all to see, and saves nothing for later. I am blown away.

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Steve McQueen = The Essence of Cool

Steve McQueen. In the Webster's Dictionary, it says, "the essence of cool", next to Steve's name. 'Course, everyone knows that. If you ever wanna test someone who says they're a Steve McQueen fan, ask them what's Steve's best movie. You'll hear The Great Escape, Papillon, The Getaway, etcetera. Uh-uh. A true McQueen fan will tell you The Sand Pebbles, directed by Robert Wise, who did West Side Story and The Sound of Music, is McQueen's greatest movie. Kick-ass...I mean a KICK-ASS score by the late, great Jerry Goldsmith. The movie - well, just go to Imdb you can read all about it (see picture above). There are multiple storylines that gel well together, and a supporting cast that includes Richard Crenna, Mako and Candice Bergen. It's an epic. Go rent it - rent it right now. Steve got his only Oscar nomination doing this flick. I love the movie so much that I adapted the screenplay to the stage a couple years ago - mostly 'cause I wanted my actor-friends to read it and be as turned on as I was. And the critics back in 1966 even made mention that many of the scenes in the movie play like a stage play (I read this after I adapted it). Steve, in my book, has always been the King of underplaying a role - you know, less-is-more, master-of-the-non-verbal (Paul Newman ain't bad either). This flick is no different.

The Sand Pebbles. This is McQueen at his best.

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Historic Agreement in Ireland!

After decades of political strife pitting the governments of Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland against each other, Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams have come to terms on their respective parties governing Ireland together. Nice. When I was in Ireland in April 2006, Justyna (my high school friend) and I traveled to Northern Ireland and the Republic and we didn't really see anything that was reminscent of "the troubles". But there are reminders. Back in 1989 when I first visited Belfast, the British military presence was undeniable - soldiers, guns, tanks. Our guide was Irish - I think he was Catholic. He made it very clear to us not to engage people in discussions about politics or religion. I think he was more concerned with his safety then our own.

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Loved-Hymns/dp/B000058BGQ/ref=wl_it_dp/102-0084826-5944938?ie=UTF8&coliid=I1P35GSPN6KE9U&colid=154E9VWO82EKS

Click on the above URL and go down to #9 - Be Thou My Vision. Listen to this snippet if you can. The song is taken from an ancient Irish poem and melody, and has become the most revered of all Irish hymns. When I hear it, I think of the peace that is possible in Ireland.

I pray for the Irish people that this agreement holds up over the long-term. Those people and that country have been through a lot.

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Origami No. 1

Origami is sort of my catchword for a featured blog entry that highlights my original writings - could be an excerpt from one of my plays, a poem, a song, a rant, a rave, a cursing, etc. Origami is the art of folding paper (the word is of Japanese origin). So, within the folds of this particular blog feature you may find something really beautiful, meaningful or poignant. OK - THAT was a stretch. The following is about my most treasured possession.

In a far-away land there was a boy and he received the most beautifulest gift from his best girl friend - a silver, heart-shaped, puzzle box. And he was so giddy that he told everyone about his gift, and some people told him to shut up 'cause he had already told them about it.

One day he was skipping along through the countryside and he came upon a cave. His curiosity got the better of him and he went inside. 'I wonder if there's anyone in this cave that I didn't tell about my beautiful silver, heart-shaped puzzle box?' So the boy shouted at the top of his lungs, 'I don't know if there's anyone in this cave, but I just got this most beautifulest silver, heart-shaped puzzle box from my best girl friend and I am happy!' His loud, booming voice inside the cave caused an avalanche and he was trapped – where he soon ran out of breath and died.

The moral of this tale - besides don't be an idiot and yell in caves - is that you CAN die happily in a cave - alone in the dark - as long as you have the most beautifulest silver, heart-shaped puzzle box from your best girl friend close to your heart.

Copyright (C) 2006 Jeffrey James Ircink

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In Need of $450,000

This traditional, thatched cottage in County Donegal has an ocean view, trout stream, two additional buildings, three bedrooms and sits on 6 acres - and I want it. It's 5 minutes from the nearest pub and 10 minutes from the market and post office. It's not for sale but $450,000 is what the owner said it's worth in American dollars. I would be endebted to you for the rest of my life. So see what you can do - or see who you know. Can't hurt to ask.

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Looking for...a good electrician?

In my unending quest to help my fellow man, I'm starting a new feature called, "Looking for...?", where I'll suggest particular websites or people I think could help make your life easier.

My brother, Jason, is an electrician in Wisconsin. He started his own company, Pacific Electric, a little over a year ago and he's doing quite well. He wanted to be his own boss, partly because it would afford him the opportunity to hunt and fish more. Now he's so busy he has to make an appointment with himself to get time - with himself. Contact him before you electrocute yourself.

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War in the Middle East

No one likes war. At least a rational person shouldn't. But I love the American soldier and I support what they're doing. I really don't know enough about President Bush, oil, Iraq, or Iran to formulate an educated opinion about the goings-ons there. But here's what I do know - war has ravaged that part of the world for eons. The Jews and Arabs have been fighting for eons. Will it ever end? I doubt it. So why risk our soldier's lives and our country's money on all that? Let those people figure it out themselves - and if they annihilate themselves in the process, so be it. You have to want peace in order for it to happen. And honestly, I don't think that part of the world wants peace. All they know is fighting and killing. So I say screw'em.

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Season Finale of Rome on HBO

I gotta tell you - great show all around. Now - I won't spoil anything for those of you who have yet to watch the show, but...well you knew Marc Antony was going to die (if you know your history). And I am sad to say I will miss him. I loved the character (passionate!) and I'll miss the actor who portrays him - James Purefoy.

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I Can See Clearly Now the Cataract is Gone!

Yes, folks. After about a year and a half of viewing life through foggy cataracts (believe me, I would've taken the rose-colored glasses any day), I had the cataract removed from my right eye in a fifteen minute procedure last Tuesday by Dr. Dickerson over at the Santa Monica Eye Medical Center. Amazing what I've been missing all this time. The good doc's steady hand was a God-send and I can't begin to thank him enough.

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A Bit of Catching Up

As this is my inaugural post, there are a number of issues I'd like to comment on - some old and some new. I'll try and be succinct:

Mel Gibson. I love Mel. If you know me well than you know this already and you're not surprised he's the subject of my first blog. Now, his outburst in Malibu (you know the one) - uncalled for. But he was drinking and I've said things that weren't necessarily true while under the influence ('in vino veritas' is 'bullshitias'). But to hear about it ad nauseum...geezuz. So glad that's all quieted down. Now, this latest "tirade" he had at the university in California? I would've reacted the same way. I guess it's not sufficient to have one Mayan expert/consultant on your movie - YOU have to consult with every Mayan on the planet (didn't know there were that many around). As a playwright, I'm passionate about what I write about and I will defend it to almost any length...if I feel I'm right. I echo Mel and say, quote, "F$!##@$%! off, lady - go make your own movie!".

Illegal aliens. I don't care who you are or where you're from. If you wanna come to the United States, fine. Just do it legally. When I traveled to Ireland last April, I paid for a passport and went through customs. That's the law. My great grandpa Michael Datka (mother's side) came over from Poland via Ellis Island. The legal way. I suggest anyone wishing for "a better life" do the same. Or suffer the consequences. As for putting up a wall along our borders adjacent to Mexico, I'm all for it. It's a sad state of affairs, but what are we supposed to do? The Mexican government clearly isn't doing much to discourage it's citizens from illegally entering our country and we need to get our own "house" in order before we worry about the rest of the world.

The Passion of the Christ. Excellent movie and no, I didn't think it anti-Sematic. That's all I'm gonna say on that subject.

Brett Favre. Someone else you knew I'd write about if you know me. He's comin' back for his 17th year in the NFL - 16th with the Green Bay Packers. He deserves his own separate blog with headline but that'll all come soon enough once the season begins. Brett will probably break all of Dan Marino's records and SHOULD have a couple more Super Bowl rings on his fingers. He's unselfish as a player and plays every game like it's his last. That being said, my wish is that the media would quit HARASSING Brett about his "impending" retirement every damn season. Just shut up. There is no one in the game of football like him, and I'm not sure there'll ever be. So why is everyone so intent on Favre retiring?? Answer - the media are bastards. That's it. I was a journalism major back in college but I specifically didn't want to become a reporter because I knew the press was scum back then. Now look - you side-tracked me. Where was I? Oh, yeh - Favre. Brett represents what the NFL IS and SHOULD BE and people need to appreciate him while he's around. I salute you Huck Finn! And anyone else who says he should retire - including the elderly, disadvantaged children, fans from other NFL teams and really hot girls with no brains can lick my lingum.

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