If you've read this blog, you know I've commented at length on the illegal immigration issue facing this country. I was on my 5-mile walk today and I suddenly thought, "perhaps I'm being too negative". "Perhaps I AM a racist." So right now - with this post - I'm going to attempt to be more positive - and helpful in the process. As the old adage goes, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". So...nice.
Since our government and Corporate America have turned a blind eye to the illegal immigration issue (and thus, ignoring our laws in the process), I say we should all turn a blind eye as well. Open our borders so anyone can come and live in the United States freely, without ever becoming legal citizens of this country. It will be the birth of a new nation...a New America!
While we're breaking that law, how about not having ANY laws. Laws = Old America. All the products we buy should be free. Food, homes, cars, clothes, household goods, computers, books, health care. No rent. No taxes. No surcharges. No fees. There are no laws to set prices remember? If you wanna work you can and if you don't want to, that's fine because everything's free. And if you choose not to work, everyone gets welfare, no matter who you are. And finally, finally we can stop bitching and moaning and sounding like racists about illegal aliens who are getting tuition to attend college in the U.S. because in New America, tuition is free. Gas? Free. That'll make lining up at the pumps real fun these days as they'll be taken over by the gangs that are now running the gas stations and the black market. After all, gang activity would be legal in our New America and there wouldn't be a need for a police force or military to protect us as - well, as no activity is illegal in this country. Guns are free. Drugs are free. Prostitution is legal. Murder is rampant because people can take by force the things they don't have if they so choose. Speed limits and other motor vehicle laws? None. Our New America is a veritable Autobahn. There is no judicial process - no legal system - as there are no rules or laws in place to be broken. My family and I can now hunt and fish for free and rape the land of every living creature with no consequence for the laws of nature. No rules. No regulations. No laws. Absolute freedom. Freedom anyone can enjoy if they live in the New America.
If other countries want to set up corporations here to do business, be our guest. It's free. Soon New America will be another colony for foreign countries to pillage as they see fit. If we're lucky, it won't be too long before our country resembles the landscape seen in the movies Escape from New York or The Road Warrior - or that of Iraq, and no country will want to pillage us any more.
With all these illegal people coming into New America (I guess they're really not "illegal" anymore) what if we run out of food? I mean, the millions of extra mouths to feed would surely become taxing on our food supply. And since everything's free in New America, do we really need money? Granted, it might be tough to import food and other goods into New America unless another country is willing to barter with us. Hmmmm. We could do as Jonathan Swift suggested in his treatise, "A Modest Proposal" - eat all the anchor babies that the newcomers (the former illegal aliens) produce. After all, it's an endless supply - they're used to coming here and having baby after baby after baby, right? They won't really miss their own babies because they can just steal someone else's if they want. And the babies could be used as a commodity - trading babies to countries whose baby production is down could be all the rage. Two babies for a barrel of oil? Three? How many babies for a 2010 Mercedes? With a continual influx of illegal aliens (now legal citizens in the New America) into New America, we'll have baby illegal aliens coming out of our assholes. Eat'm or trade'm! Hey - it's the New America! And everyone benefits.
Did I miss anything? Probably. Life in New America is a wonderful thing, isn't it? See, and you thought I was a racist. Gotta run. I thought I'd try out an illegal alien baby on the barbecue for dinner tonite - a taste of New America.