Mindy Kaling. Unfunny.

Who would admit this? MK. Her MO = unfunny. So is BJ Novak.

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Dwight Schrute's Christmas Revelation.

"One holiday season, Mose and I were winterizing the barn - patching the roof, insulating, creating cozy beds for the animals with bits of hay and Angela's clothing. Night fell and the cold set in, and we received some unexpected guests - a young couple, asking to stay a night at my bed and breakfast. Unfortunately, I had to turn them away as there was no vacancy that evening. The Schrute Farms B&B holiday brunch provides some of the most melt-in-your-mouth venison and a brown mustard streusel like you've never tasted before, and we had been booked up for months.

However I watched them sulk away like a couple of pathetic losers, and I don't know... it must have been the Christmas spirit, and how the wife was pregnant and all, that I offered them up a space in the barn next to the Clydesdale. They spit in my face and drove down to the Econo Lodge, unthankful jerks. But that gave me an idea: convert the additional space in the barn into extra quarters. It's not for the fanciest guest, but it's cheap and mostly safe. And it puts more green dollars into my pocket and red smile on my face. Merry Christmas to me."

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"Look class...say hello to the Hollywood Foreign Press."

Or maybe it's the actors who didn't receive awards at the Golden Globes. Or the New Orleans Saints' defense after the NFC Championship Game this Sunday (11 skulls...). Or my enemies list. :)

Forgot that the Golden Globes were on television Sunday evening – well, with all the hubbub over my Minnesota Vikings’ win against Dallas it pretty much was a Viking raid and pillage night at the Ircink house (don’t ask). Went online and found the winners. My reactions to a few of the awards are as follows:

Best Supporting Actress Motion Picture

Mo'Nique – Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

As long as it wasn’t Penelope Cruz…cool.

Best Actress Television Series, Comedy or Musical

Toni Collette – United States of Tara

I don’t watch this show regularly but I’ve seen a couple episodes. I'm surprised, especially after having seen Tina Fey in 30 Rock.

Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television

John Lithgow – Dexter

As long as Jeremy Piven and Neil Patrick Harris didn’t win…cool. Love Entourage but Piven’s a Chicago tool and I have that confirmed by multiple first-hand reports (people I know well). Sushi Piven IS a great actor...he also acts like he's the most sweetest guy on the planet.

Best Animated Feature Film – Up

Didn’t see it (oops) but heard nothing but great things about it.

Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama

Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife

A piece of belly button lint could win this as long as Anna Paquin didn’t. And the belly lint would’ve truly deserved it over Paquin.

Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television – Grey Gardens

Saw this. Excellent. Thanks, Tony - for the head’s up.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy

Meryl Streep – Julie and Julia

Saw this and I enjoyed it but would’ve written the ending differently. And as long as Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock didn’t win…cool.

Best Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television

Drew Barrymore – Grey Gardens

Either the Los Angeles Times or the New York Times ripped Barrymore a new one for her portrayal of Little Edie Beale. I thought she did a great job. I thought Jessica though was better; she should’ve received the Globe. Anna Paquin didn’t win and that’s….you got it – cool.

Best Screenplay – Motion Picture – Up In the Air

Quentin Tarantino lost for Inglourious Basterds; I gave IB a "C". People of the Jewish persuasion, I think, will love it.

Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical

Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock

Don’t watch this regularly but Baldwin’s good. So is Steve Carrell and David Duchovny (I watch both Californication and The Office). Coulda went to any of the three and I’d say. “cool”.

Best Foreign Language Film – "Céard". That’s Gaelic for “what’s that?”

Best Television Series, Drama – Mad Men

Watched the first season. Now I watch it sporadically. If True Blood would have won I would’ve bit the head off a bat.

Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television

Chloe Sevigny – Big Love

Janet McTeer was nominated. I worked with her in a movie...teeny, tiny non-speaking role. I saved her flip flop from being swept out into the Pacific Ocean. Hurt my foot due to the undertow. Do you care?

Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Christoph Waltz – Inglourious Basterds

He was the best thing in the movie. I predicted he'd win. I predict he will win the SAG Award and I believe he’ll get an Oscar nomination as well.

Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical – The Hangover

I think I’m the last man on earth (besides my dad and brother) who hasn't seen this movie. That’s ‘cause I drink too much and suffer from hangovers. Haha. Hahahahahhahahahahaha. Ha.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy

Robert Downey, Jr. – Sherlock Holmes

Loved this movie. Will see it again. Kudos to Mr. Downey.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama

Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart

Didn’t see this but I love JB. Have you visited his website? One of the best I’ve ever been on. Take a looksee at JeffBridges.com.

I knew your day wouldn't be complete without reading my views on the winners. So if you've read all this, here's your reward - KNOWLEDGE. The picture above is from one of the exhibits at the Milwaukee County Museum. Those heads have been up there since I was a kid. Best to hang on to yours, friends.

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What's the deal with BJ Novak?

Someone tell me why this joker is still on "The Office". I think he sucks. I don't care if he's a writer/producer on the show - he should stick to writing and producing. And if he's such a good writer, why can't he write any decent episodes for his character (Ryan).

While I'm on the subject, Mindy Kaling (Kelly) sucks as well (she's also a producer/writer). Both characters contribute nothing to the show. It's almost as if they wrote their characters into the show just because the actors are writers/producers on the show. And other characters who barely contribute to each episode (Creed, Toby, Darrell) are 100x funnier than these two clownshoes.

Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, Novak did get a lead role in the new Tarantino film, the remake of Inglourious Bastards, starring Brad Pitt. No, I'm right. They both suck.

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"TANSTAAFL" schmanstaafl.

I hated taking Economics in college. I received a "C" and "D" in Econ 101 and 102, respectively. And I was lucky to get the "D". I was failing the course and my professor said, "Jeff, you need to get a high "B" on the final just to get a D". Really? Well if I'm failing the course, how in the hell did I think I was gonna get a high "B" on the final? I can't take this class again...

But I got that high "B". Jim Sickels and I crammed for days. We were RA's at the time (and are still close) so we had the run of the dormitory. We locked ourselves in an empty room in the basement and didn't come out for days. Smoked, drank tea, shot the shit, no showers and studied our asses off.

So it shouldn't be a surprise to me that one of the only economic terms I recall from Econ 101 and 102 is, "TANSTAAFL". It means, "there ain't no such thing as a free lunch". And even that term is bullshit and I'll tell you why.

I ordered a shirt just like this for my friend Donovan's birthday...in October. NBC sent me a small instead of a large. Now I might have made a mistake but I haven't worn a "small" since I was a child. I sent it back. My shipment got lost. I finally got the replacement just before Christmas.

Then THIS(see above) came in the mail yesterday. The exact shirt I ordered for Donovan and received (late). I called NBC and asked how many charges were on my account. Just the first one. No 2nd charge. I kept my mouth shut and VOILA!...my free tee.

If you find yourself in Pennsylvania, stop by Schrute Beet Farms. No one can beat their -beets. And say "hello" to Mose for me.

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