"Vikings are one and done!" So said ESPN's Merril Hoge, et al.

First off, I want Hoge's resignation. Fine, at least a retraction or some sort of admission that he was wrong when he said the Vikes would lose against Dallas...along with the 30+ other sports "talking heads" who picked Dallas to beat Minnesota (the ones that I read about).

Sports prognosticators annoy me. I understand lots of people make predictions. Not me. What's more annoying is that these hacks never admit the next day that they were wrong. These self-proclaimed gurus - many ex-NFLers and I certainly give them credit for that - think their word is Gospel. Thing is - NO ONE knows the outcome of any game. I mean, my dead grandfather has a 50/50 chance of calling any game and getting it right. Why are these blowhards - who are paid to do this mind you (unlike you or I) - any better? Entertainment purposes? Probably. But I thought ESPN and the other rags are supposed to be CREDIBLE NEWS SOURCES? Why would anyone continue to listen to these guys week after week when they're getting their predictions wrong and their entire persona resembles that of The National Enquirer? I know - why do I pay attention? Because I blog - I need to be informed...to write this shit.

So I tweeted a few of the better known bastards and told them to stick it. I'll never hear back from them and that's fine. But ranting's therapeutic for me:

@JimmyJsBigChill so that "infectious Brett Favre" u mentioned couple wks ago...hmmm...i want some of that infection. SKOL VIKINGS! (Jimmy Johnson, ex-Dallas coach)

@Adam_Schefter that "schism" u reported on is realjy workin' 2 the Vikes advantage. if i were ur boss, i'd have ur pink slip ready by 6 am, Vulture (ESPN gossip monger)

@insidethehuddle hey Cowboys' fans! it's Keith. Keith Brooking. "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"! SKOL FAVRE! SKOL VIKES! (Dallas LB and tit sucker)

@AdamSchein do u really think you nailed it, Schein? u sports prognosticators r a laugh a minute. SKOL VIKES in a thumping! Romo blu chunks. (One of the biggest assholes at FoxSports.com. You think I'm kidding? Read his articles...no one agrees with him. He "nailed" picking Dallas over Minnesota,)

@markschlereth but i thought you, Hoges, Jimmy Johnson, Dilfer, Adam Schein & the rest of the media said the Vikes would lose?? (former Bronco NFLer)

@merrilhoge Vikes one and done? instead of a public retraction, i'd prefer you & the other hack sports dudes hand in ur resignations. SKOL!! (Ex-NFLer, works for ESPN)

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Did I mention that I despise the media? Course I did.

If you've read this blog, your quite aware of my disdain for the media, in general. I have many reasons, some of which are rooted in Green Bay Packer football, Brett Favre and the fact that I was editor of my high school newspaper and majored in Journalism in college and generally think reporters suck.

Without going into too much rhetoric and ranting, check out this statement which appeared in a column by Ben Smith, who covers sports for the Fort Wayne, Indiana area. The gist of his article was that, although he likes Brett Favre, he feels he won't make a difference for the New York Jets this season. Fine. I think the Jets will go at least 10-6 and win a playoff berth (I don't make predictions for the very reason I'm about to illustrate so ignore that statement...THOUGH I'm allowed to make predictions regarding the teams I root for, which is the Jets and NOT the Packers this season).

Ben's statement : "And it ends the same way it ended for Joe Namath with the Rams, or, best case, Joe Montana with the Chiefs." (Namath sucked with the Rams and Montana took the Chiefs to the playoffs.)

As kind and wise as Ben appears to be, and yes, he looks like the sort of fellow I might hang out with, his is the type of blanket statement that boils my blood. Wow, Ben - you really walked out on a limb to make that bold prediction, didn't you? My cousin's fiance's unborn child (no, she's not pregnant) could have made that observation. Why not just say, 'Favre will either succeed or fail for the New York Jets'.

Ben...may I borrow YOUR Magic 8 Ball, please? I want to find out whether or not I'll have to use the lavatory at some point today.

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The Trouble with Sports Predictions

You see it on all the news sportscasts, the sports networks, online, radio and in the newspapers. Sports know-it-alls and fans alike predicting the outcome of games.

Not me. I never predict or have predicted the Packers would win any particular game. I say, "they're favored to win so they should" or "they're the better team, so they should win", but you will never hear me say, "the Packers will win the NFC Championship this year" or "the Pack is going to the Super Bowl this season". If you're wrong, you come across as a total moron, which is pretty much what I think of sports columnists and broadcasters AND fans who make such bold assertions. Hey, if you've got a crystal ball and KNOW for certain the outcome of a game, please - let me borrow it for a while. I have lots of questions to ask it.

You predict one team will win over another. Big deal. You have a 50/50 chance of being correct. Ooooooo - what a soothsayer you are. You're a top-notch seer, a wizard who knows all. Won't Gandalf and Merlin be jealous. Impressive. Your friends will love you and think you know a lot about sports. And you'll get laid by hot chicks with no more of a brain than you.

Case in point (and I'm being brief 'cause I could go on and on and on). Not that much was expected out of Brett Favre or the Green Bay Packers at the start of the 2007 season. Pro Football Weekly projected a modest 7-9 record for Green Bay, and a second place finish in the NFC North behind the defending champion Chicago Bears, who were picked to go 11-5. In addition, Pro Football Weekly released a player ranking based on 2006 production, current value to the team, career numbers and potential. The Top 10 quarterbacks included Donovan McNabb (No. 5), Marc Bulger (No. 6), and Chad Pennington (No. 9). Woof, woof, woof. Rounding out the Top 15 were Vince Young, No. 11; Steve McNair, No. 12; Michael Vick, No. 13; Favre, No. 14; and Tony Romo, No. 15 (Romo, an undrafted free agent, came into the league with no expectations or fanfare).

Now you see why I don't make predictions. IDIOTS.

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