The Santaland Diaries.

Heard a snippet of this on NPR Saturday. Listen here. Sedaris spent some time as a department store elf. This is his account of "that incident".

I had two people say that to me today: 'I'm going to have you fired.' Go ahead, be my guest. I'm wearing a green velvet costume. It doesn't get any worse than this. Who do these people think they are? 'I'm going to have you fired'...I want to lean over and say, 'I'm going to have you killed.'