Passion = Truth? How Jeffrey James Francis Ircink Sees The World? I love when people are passionate about something. That surging of emotion is the one honest measure of what truth is. It's a truthful display of how a person really feels about something or someone at that particular moment. That passion IS truth.



About me...

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Greendale, Wisconsin, United States
Ex-producer of THE REALLY FUNNY HORNY GOAT INTERNATIONAL SHORT FILM FESTIVAL, playwright, actor, singer, outdoorsman, blogger, amateur photog, observer & bitcher, Beach Boys groupie, Brett Favre fanatic, lover of everything Celtic and forever a member in the Tribe of HAIR. Spent most of my life in the Village of Waterford, a small town just outside of the Milwaukee suburbs. After 12 years in North Hollywood, Bel Air and Culver City, Cali, I moved back to Wisconsin in September 2009. No regrets - of moving to LA OR moving back to WI. Have traveled to Belfast, Ireland, Dayton (OH), Manhattan, Seattle, Cedar Rapids, New York, Miami and Sydney, Australia with my plays. Moved back into the Village of Greendale where I was born. Life is good.

Celtic!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Self-Portrait

(c) Copyright Jeffrey James Ircink

Sometimes I wish I could walk around like this.

My eye injury three years ago has affected me in various ways - physically, emotionally; I'm angry, sad, vengeful, wondering why this happened to me, etc. The left eye is glazed over with a faint yellowish-tan color, totally covering up my pupil and brown iris. It's because of this that I haven't acted. It's because of this that I don't date. The self-confidence I had as an actor - and in just my normal, everyday life - is not what it was. Now and then I glance at a picture of me when I was 3 1/2 - my favorite portrait as a child - and I say to myself, 'where has that handsome, little boy - the eldest son of Jim and Dee - gone to?', 'where has that boy with the beautiful brown eyes gone to?'. He's gone. He is gone.

Those who know me say it's not as bad as I make it out to be - that the color of my eye is different, and yeh, I can understand their point, at times. But the fact remains that it's there. I know it's there. My face - dammit, I moved to Hollywood and gave up everything to be an actor - at the very least a somewhat, above average-looking character actor or 3rd fiddle. My family and friends accept me for who I am, yes. But when I meet someone for the first time, someone who will formulate their first impression of me in less than five minutes, the same questions roll around in my head, 'what is this person thinking?', 'do they notice my eye?', 'do they think I'm ugly?'. I want people to judge me not for the way I look but for who I am inside - with the same sense of humor, ideas, emotions, desires, same personality traits - positive and negative.

On top of all that I couldn't see dick for a year and a half because of a cataract in my good eye (what more can God possibly throw at me?). The cataract was removed in March and I'm seeing 20/15 (that's better than 20/20). I've also seen a positive change in my demeanor, as have some of my friends. I have a certain "step" in my gait and a smile on my face...a ways to go, but baby steps still. I'm tired of being bitter and angry, so this is a huge breakthrough for me and I am thankful. In two weeks I have a consultation with a prominent cosmetic eye doctor in LA who will assess my needs and custom fit me with a soft lens that will exactly match my other eye. I pray this helps me get to a place I need to be. A sense of normalcy in my life after all this pain would be nice.

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