Say it ain't so! Chicago Tribune rips on Minnie Driver????

That's not the entire truth...once you do a bit of investigating. I majored in Journalism not because I wanted to be a reporter ('cause I hate the media), but for two reasons - to become a better writer and because I had some interest in serious investigative reporting. This story isn't ain't no spy ring or the bringing down of an ineffective U.S. President (yet), but it's a start.

I've seen Minnie Driver perform in LA three times. You can read my gushes here: my first time, the time I met her, and while she was pregnant. All at The Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. Immediately after hearing her for the first time, I ran out and purchased her current CD at the time, Seastories (2007) and couldn't get her songs out of my head. Without a doubt one of the best female voices I've heard in the last 10 years. She plays guitar and writes her own songs. Her lyrics are thoughtful and poignant - lyrics anyone can relate to.

So you can imagine my ire when I happened upon a copy of The Star magazine (my roommate has the "rag" delivered to her house) and the first thing that caught my eye was a feature, "DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB", written by a "KRT", which ripped on actors who've attempted to parlay their celebrity into singing careers (2/16/09). The second thing I saw was this quote, "Her record isn't as much ear-achingly bad as it is a stone-cold bore," attributed to the Chicago Tribune...right next to my lovely Minnie Driver.

Bastards. So I'm put off. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, which, at the end of the day is subjective at best. But that quote is so far-off the impression I get from listening to Minnie that I couldn't let it go.

I scoured the Internet to find the Chicago Tribune review. Nothing. I did, however find the EXACT SAME QUOTE that The Star used - but it wasn't from the Tribune. It originally appeared in a New York Daily News article by Jim Farber, dated December 14, 2004. Farber - an employee of the Daily News at the time the article was written - reviewed Minnie's first CD, Everything I've Got in My Pocket. I disagree with Farber's assessment but that's another tirade.

I also found Farber's article in three other sources - The Age (1/3/05) - Australia's oldest newpaper, Arbiteronline (1/10/05) and Azstarnet, an Arizone online sharing service. Same article. Different dates. All attributing Farber as the source of the article/quote.

I've contacted the Chicago Tribune but haven't heard back. I'm assuming The Star made a mistake in crediting the Trib with Farber's quote...unless the story first appeared in the Tribune and Farber is taking credit for it - which I doubt. I emailed and left word with Farber as well.

So my first bitch is if Farber is, in fact, the true author of the article, why did The Star quote the Chicago Tribune? Now - the Trib may have an online sharing agreement like the other sources I mentioned above, and The Star simply quoted the source where they found the article, not the original author, "Jim Farber, New York Daily News".

My second bitch is that Farber's original article is from December 2004. The quote - to me - is dated. I'm certain there are current articles The Star could've borrowed from. 'Course, that would mean their "writers" would have to actually dig up information...you know, like actual reporters would do if they worked at reputable magazines.

My last bitch. Even if everyone's totally innocent of everything I've been blathering on about, Farber's original quote was in reference to Minnie Driver's debut CD, "Everything I've Got In My Pocket" - not her 2007 release "Seastories", which is the CD shown in the picture. One might assume the quote is referring to her latest CD - which it is not. That's misrepresentation. I would sue The Star and/or ask for a retraction.

That's misleading, schlock, rag, tabloid, shitty, scumy, yellow journalism at it's worst and that is why I don't make a habit of reading rags like The Star. And another thing about shit tabloids - the guy I talked to at the Florida office was a prick. HE'S the one who suggested I call the main office in New York and when I said, "OK, can I have the number?", he paused and I could sense him smiling and he said, "OK, pal". Seriously. Hey, PAL - I didn't force you to work for a rag magazine. He should be used to dealing with irate readers like me. (He just made my list.)

And honestly, I think Farber was way off in his assessment of Driver's singing abilities. I sing. I've performed musicals on stage. I'm a little above-average singer. I know talented singers and I know talented singers when I hear them. You may wanna think twice before you buy a Joaquin Phoenix or Hayden Panettiere (who I've recently heard has grown up to be quite the bitch - good source, too) or Lindsay Lohan CD. But trust me - Driver's good. Ryan Adams and Liz Phair both collaborated with Minnie on Seastories - they're hardly hacks in the music business. And Minnie was singing with a band before any of us ever heard of her in the U.S. She had a development deal with Island Records (then got her acting break in the States), which is celebrating its 50th anniversary and is responsible for the careers of some of the biggest stars in music including: U2, Bob Marley, Cat Stevens, Traffic, Free, Fairport Convention, Nick Drake, Marianne Faithful, Tom Waits, Roxy Music, Robert Palmer, the B52s, Melissa Etheridge, Grace Jones, Tom Tom Club, and latterly Amy Winehouse, PJ Harvey, DJ Shadow, Sugababes, Keane, The Fratellis, Scott Matthews, Paul Weller, The Feeling and Portishead.

Pete Townshend even played guitar and sang with her at a venue overseas. Do you really wanna mess with Peter T.? (I wish I could send Pete over to visit that prick in The Star's Florida offices.) Bastards. Why do people continue to underestimate my savviness?