"Let the she-harlots and the he-harlots be prudent!...Let the preachers of creeds never dare to go meditate upon the hills, alone, by day or by night! (If one ever once dare, he is lost!) Let insanity have charge of sanity!"
Walt Whitman said that back in 1856. Basically, what he was alluding to was that the media are douche bags. Not suprisingly, most of my end-of-the-year rips involve the media for their biased, half-cocked reporting intent only on raising my blood pressure. Whores. Most of them.
1. Phil Sims stated that had the New York Jets kept Chad Pennington, the Jets would've went 10-6. Well Phil, you can't say that because you don't know for a fact that that would've happened. And if you have some magic ball stuffed up your ass and you KNOW that the Jets' record would've been better with Pennington, how come you didn't predict your son, Chris, would be a bust as a QB in the NFL. DOUCHE!
2. Adam Schein, of FoxSports.com - Almost every one of the writers at FoxSports.com are douche bags so let's get that outta the way right off the bat. Schein said Favre was his NFL Flop of the Year, and yet, nowhere on the flop list was Plaxico "I shot myself in the leg with my own gun" Burress on the list though. Schein and all the other dickshine's at FoxSports.com have an axe to grind with Favre for whatever reason. Year before last, Schein said Favre should retire. Then he jumps on Favre's bandwagon last season as the Packers go 13-3 in the regular season. Then he praises Favre up through the Jets' 8-3...then jumps off the bandwagon AGAIN. DUKE of the DOUCHE!
3. Alex Marvez, another FoxSports.com writer who wrote "Mangini has Favre to thank for pink slip" . As I've said time and time again, you can't say that Brett wasn't the only reason the Jets got to 8-3, then say HE IS the only reason they went 1-4 in they're last 5. You can't bitch about how unfair it is that the QB gets all the credit when a team wins, then turn around and blame JUST the QB when they lose (in most cases).
For those of you who are deaf, let me repeat: The Jets' defense went from 28 sacks in the first 8 games to 12 in the last 8. The Jets' defense was ranked the 4th worst in allowing passing yards PER GAME and for the ENTIRE SEASON. And even with a sub-par defense, one that showed up to play maybe 2 complete games all season, Favre and the offense put up the 3rd highest number of points in Jets' history. As for Mangini, even when the Jets were 8-3, I questioned many of his calls. It's the NFL - coaches get the boot. That's the way it is.
But you don't see those stats blarring out at you from the Let's-Rip-Favre-A-New-One articles, do you? Hey, I'm not the one who was crowning the Jets "Kings of New York" and yapping about a Jets-Giants Super Bowl. That was the NY media and the NY fans. Their pie holes - not mine.
OK - there's 14 more. So click on READ MORE! to find out who the DOUCHE OF THE YEAR goes to. Come on...they're all funny.
4. Debbie Goffa, associate sports editor at the Los Angeles Times - In her column, "Wake up call...Favre", she stated, "It wasn't Mangini who threw those three interceptions Sunday. Or those 22 interceptions for the season."
Hey, I liked Mangini. But during the Seattle game, Pro Bowler Leon Washington had 3 carries in 60 offensive plays. He's the most prolific player on the team. That Favre's fault too? And the Mangini-Favre INT connection doesn't even make sense. DOUCHE and a BITCH.
5. Teddy Atlas - a special assistant coach to the New York Jets who said Favre - well who the fuck cares what a boxing coach said anyway. DOUCHE! Though I do recall that FoxSports.com had a men's college basketball columnist pen something about the NFL - and you guessed it...it was a rip on Favre. I guess any Fox will hire any talking asshole with an opinion.
6. Jason Whitlock, FoxSports.com - I've ripped on Glazer, Marvez, Schein, and most of the dolts at FoxSports.com, but never Whitlock. He's one of the writers I've always enjoyed. He was on Favre's side at the beginning of the season. Then this sorry ass jumped off the ship and joined the other bandwagon sports columnists who are the biggest flip-floppers of anyone because they never show any allegiance in the articles. And don't tell me they can't because they're supposed to be objective. They're certainly not objective when they gang up one player all year long and ride his ass for no apparent reason, are they?
The other thing that pissed me off about Whitlock is he used unsubstantiated information by Jay Glazer, also of FoxSports.com and another DOUCHE, and quoted it in his commentary as if it were the Gospel truth. He didn't even say, 'Jay Glazer's unnamed source...' He said,
"To make matters worse, we learned from Jay Glazer that Favre didn't enjoy playing for Eric Mangini because the Jets coach had the audacity to question Favre's decision-making in front of teammates." What Whitlock didn't write was that all the sources were unnamed and Mangini said that that was not true. Tell me, if Mangini and Favre didn't like each other and were constantly at each other's throats, why did Mangini give his newborn son the middle name, Brett? Whitlock = DOUCHE!
(Whitlock also picked Indy in the preseason to go to the SB. Sports writers and commentators making predictions is a big DOUCHE attribute.)
7. Allen Barra(ass) who writes for The New York Times and the Village Voice. In his article, "Mangini wasn't the problem - Favre is", idiot blamed the Jets failure at the end of the season solely on Favre. He hates Brett. Has never written anything kindly about him and never popped his head up once while the Jets went 8-3 but as soon as they faltered, Bare-ass was there. Big, fat BARON DOUCHE!So I wrote a retort to Bare-ass' spewage - I blogged about it here. The man accused me of not using my real name when, in fact, JEFF IRCINK is written at the bottom of all my comments. Bare-ass gets a 2nd DOUCHE for trying to assassinate my character.
8. Mike Vandermouse of The Green Bay Gazette (mause) - Wrote an article at the end of the regular season (one of about 50) about how the Packers made the right decision in trading Favre. How many stories is this dumbass gonna write about how the Packers trading Favre was a good deal??? Enough. Not that I agree with him (I don't), but one story - at the end of the season - would've been sufficient. DOUCHE!
9. Thomas Jones, Jets' running back - Said Favre should've been benched during the Miami game (last game of season) when, in fact, the AFC leading running back only had 23 yards on 10 carries during the Miami game, AND in his last 4 games, his highest yardage was 68. DOUCHE! He later "softened" his initial comment with another comment. You know what, Thomas, if you really believed what you said in the first place, there'd be no need to come out and issue a 2nd, softening comment, you dumb ass. Jones scored just two touchdowns all season in 2007 with Pennington as QB. This year, he had 9 before the Titans game. It's one thing to call out a teammate (didn't Favre get ripped for that when he said Javon Walker needs to honor his contract and play ball while at Green Bay?), but let he who is perfect cast the first stone. So shut up, Jones. A DOUCHE and a SHAME ON YOU, JONES!
10. Mark Kreigel, FoxSports.com. - "I want this man to die." That's the article I ran on Kreigel this year after the Jets lost to the Chargers early in the season. What else can I say? I do. Notice that none of the fuckwads from FoxSports.com EVER come out with an article praising Favre for a game. They always wait in the shadows 'til Favre screws up.
11. Jay Glazer, again...FoxSports.com - You'd think I'd tire of calling out the idiots at FoxSports.com. Glazer's the douche that broke the story that Favre was supposedly giving Detroit Lions plays right out of the Green Bay playbook. Here's my story on Bleacher Report, calling Glazer a "rat". Later, FoxSports.com ran a poll asking it's readers, "Do you trust Jay Glazer or ESPN?" (who said their unnamed sources stated the Favre story was not true) and the choice they gave readers was "Jay" and "Jay". Nice, biased, reporting, assholes (they later changed the poll because people like me bitched about it, see it here).
12. New York Giant Plaxico Burress - for shooting himself in the leg at a nightclub. DUMBFUCK FELON DOUCHE.
13. Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison - NFL Defensive Player of the Year and Super Bowl Champion - unsportsmanlike conduct, flagged for hitting an Arizona player who was already down on the ground, FELON DOUCHE.
14. Jets pummelling of the Arizona Cardinals - To all those who said, "yeh, but it was Arizona", kiss my ass. I wrote this shortly after the game. You're all DOUCHES.
Who did I forget? Now these people ARE NOT douches. Me, Maria and Donovan and Baby Grace. Their #1 team is Denver - then it's Favre. So they boycotted the Green Bay Packers along with me and my brother and we followed the Jets. GO JETS! GO FAVRE!Wait - almost forgot...
15. NFL Rule Change #1 - The NFL should allow ALL CALLS by refs to be challenged. Each team still gets the same amount of challenges so it can not slow the game down. Why is one subjective holding call or pass interference call or early blown whistle any less subjective than the calls that are challengeable now?
16. NFL Rule Change #2 - Get rid of the Tuck Rule. A rule is supposed to help clearly map out what the infraction is, but no one can seem to determine when this rule is or isn't being broken. Hey, if the QB loses the ball, he loses the ball. It's a fumble. Shut up about it. Talk about a rule that prolongs the game.
17. Hold on...Boomer Esiason said something really dumb about Favre this season so he's a OUCHE too. Don't remember what it was. I think I named Boomer a douche last year - like many of these other douche bags on the list. Hey, if you're gonna be a douche bag, you might as well be consistent.
18. But the DOUCHE OF THE YEAR Award goes to the my beloved ex-Green Bay Packers (management), not just for trading Favre, but for the PR debacle that followed. Nice job, McCarthy, Murphy and Thompson (aka 3 Wise Monkeys). You went from a 14-4 team and one win from the Super Bowl last year to a 6-10 team this season. And Packer fans who supported the Favre traded said the same thing Simms said about the Jets - the Packers wouldn't have finished any better with Favre at QB. Again, you can't say that because you can't know what WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, you dumb, cheese-eating, motherfuckers (I can say that 'cause I'm from WI). The Green Bay Packers management (not the players) are truly are the CROWN PRINCES OF THE DOUCHES! And Murphy had the gaul to say Thompson did a "masterful" job of handling the debacle. Someone please shoot all 3 of those idiots.
And congrats to the Steelers for their Super Bowl win. A guy I used to work with in Cedar Rapids is a big Steeler fan and I'm sure he's very happy right now. GO JETS in 2009! Or whichever team Favre plays for (if he plays) next season.
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