ACLU wants to consider giving illegal aliens voting rights???

From the Pasadena Star News, Monday, August 31, 2009...The local chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union will present a public forum on immigrant voting rights Sept. 8. The forum's purpose is to raise the question of whether non-citizens should be allowed to vote, and at what level of government.

We should consider giving illegals in the U.S. voting rights? What flaws in this logic can you see?

1. It's American Civil Liberties Union. AMERICAN. Not the Illegal Aliens Civil Liberties Union. I'm quite certain there are plenty of advocacy groups that might handle such an illegal and ridiculous proposition.

2. By the ACLU's own definition on its website, "The ACLU is our nation's guardian of liberty, working daily in courts, legislatures and communities to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties that the Constitution and laws of the United States guarantee everyone in this country." The "laws of the United States" covers citizens of the U.S. - not people who are here illegally.

3. They're illegal aliens. ILLEGAL!!!! Are you deaf?

So the ACLU wants to debate whether illegal aliens should have some voting rights in the U.S. This is mind boggling. How about concentrating on the rights of U.S. citizens, ACLU? Please tell me your organization isn't that daft? It's like PETA sending off a letter to the Green Bay Packers several years ago asking that the organization change the name "Packers" as the name refers to the meat packing industry that first sponsored the team way back when. Why waste time on something that will NEVER HAPPEN??? It you want to effect change, pick your battles, you dumbasses. Maybe you'll actually help your credibility with people who think you're run by a bunch of yahoos.

If all people are deemed to have certain rights (as the ACLU contends), why not give voting rights back to felons? Or people under 18? Why shouldn't dead people be able to vote? Why not just let the ACLU run the United States so no one will be left in the lurch and everyone can be happy? Once again - the ACLU's stance that those in the minority should get the upper hand takes the cake. Why not have the minority party in the House and Senate be the one whose votes count the most - then all the Republicans can take back control. No? That doesn't fly, eh?

The ACLU can kiss my fucking ass.

Separated at Birth? Cindy Loo Who & Maria McCann.

Cindy Loo Who and my best friend in California, Maria McCann, at 6 mos.

Angeles National Forest Fire.

30,000+ acres burned already. 15 or so structures gone. 3 people burned (2 idiots who thought it was safe to hide out in their hot tub in Tujunga Canyon). 2 fireman dead.

My birthday weekend turned out to be one in which my friends - Donovan and Maria - were on pins and needles about whether their home would be safe. They live in Tujunga, which is in the heart of where the fires are raging. Because of the smoke and ash in the air, we've been camped out at Maria's parent's home in Arcadia (today you can now smell the smoke there). Maria's father is a retired LA fire chief so the man knows something about fire. Donovan and I packed up whatever irreplaceable valuables we could from their home yesterday just to be safe.

I snapped this picture of Grace's hula hoop amidst the ash that has reigned down on the town. Poignant to say the least.

Stars who share my birthday.

Milton Greene's Marilyn.

Seeing as it's my birthday, I wanted to post my favorite shot of Marilyn Monroe by Milton Greene. Just so I could look at her....

My most treasured possession.

It's my birthday today.

Where are my gifts?

The music video that represents my life.

I've said for a couple years now that this compilation video for "Don't Worry Baby" by The Beach Boys best sums up my - my being, soul, fiber, essence, whatever. Today is my birthday. I am past the half-way point in my life. Who doesn't reflect on their birthday?

So here's my reflection....

TGIF! presents...Brett Favre's Sears outtakes & commercial"!

And hey, if you're not happy that Brett's playing for the Minnesota Vikings, just like Brett said - "don't watch".

I think I have my Vikings TD celebration song...

For the 16 years Brett Favre played for the Green Bay Packers - helping to bring that franchise out of the pits and back into relevance - I had one song that I played every time the Pack scored a TD, field goal - any points. "Scotland the Brave". I love the bagpipes and I would blare the music as loud as I could crank my "stereo system". The bitch I worked for in Bel Air said she always knew when the Packers scored 'cause she heard "the pipes" from guest house...and my own victory screams.

When Favre joined the New York Jets last year, I began playing "New York Groove" by Ace Frehley of KISS. Then Donovan (of Donovan & Maria fame in Tujunga) suggested the song, "Jet" by WINGS. Being The Beatles fan that he is (me too), I went with it.

This year, as Favre embarks on his 19th year in the NFL as the new starting QB of the Minnesota Vikings, I've had some difficulty finding suitable celebration music. Norse odes and ballads just don't cut it. Everything else I've found is metal "Viking" stuff. So - back to the good ole U.S. of A. I think this tune sums everything I want in a Viking celebration. No?

(Make sure you PAUSE the jukebox at the top of the page.)

Its My Life - Bon Jovi

"Dear California, I'm dumping you."

Saw the most apropo opinion piece in the Los Angeles Times on August 16th. I was planning to post something on my blog in this vein but another writer beat me to the punch.

In Candice Reed's column, "Dear California, I'm dumping you.", Reed extols all the wondrous reasons she moved to California - then turns on each and every reason (like that UCLA couple during my visit to Cali in 1994 when Wisconsin beat UCLA in the Rose Bowl - Tom and I still can't figure out what we did to that couple). This paragraph sums up some of the reasons why I am departing this state and the City of Angels:

"I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time, and I’ve come to the conclusion that we should go our separate ways. I thought I loved you and it would last forever, but I was so very wrong…You’ve totally lost perspective, and I’m sinking into depression! We can’t pay our bills, and the phone is ringing off the hook with creditors calling from all over the world. Children across the state are losing healthcare, more than 766,300 Californians lost their jobs in the last year, and we’re at the top of the foreclosure charts. You need to change, and you refuse to admit it. For the first time in our relationship, I’m embarrassed to say that we are together…So that’s it, California, it’s over. You’ve cost me too much. I’m starting over, but I can see happy times ahead. Like we once had…You could be a great state again but I can’t wait in order for you to turn it around."

She pretty much hit the nail on the head. Add to that the runaway production in the entertainment industry, my eye injury (which made me feel like damaged goods and no I do not need a therapist), the onslaught of illegal aliens on every corner, a bankrupt city that seems to find money in its coffers to pay for the King of Pop's $1.4 million memorial service, and the traffic congestion and THAT...is a wrap.

Los Angeles isn't representative of the state of California. I'm a firm believer that if you put LA inside a snow globe and shipped it off on a one-way ticket to Greenland that it would survive just nicely THERE and no one would miss it HERE.

That being said, there's much I will miss. My best friends, Donovan & Maria & their two daughters, Grace and Gwyneth (my god daughter), other friends including Susie & Jay, Maria's parents and siblings - Mike and Bill and their families, Tat, Michael Gregory, Marla, Dave & Linda Parke, Stephen Carver, Rick the photographer, Michael Carrera, Bruce Johnson & Bill Baumann (my ex-bosses), the Nowak clan in Santa Barbara, and others.

Speaking of Santa Barbara - what a gem of a place! How I will miss the convenience of jumping into my car and driving up the 101 for an hour and a half and escaping LA (the Santa Inez wine country will be sorely missed by moi). Being a history buff and actor, it was far-out being in a city where so much history in the entertainment industry took place. To know that Dean Martin always ate at this table or that Brian Wilson lived in that house in Bel Air. I'll miss the intimate venues where you can catch a music act like Berlin, Gordon Lightfoot or The Zombies - and not just IF they roll through your town on a tour they go on once every five years. Or The Smoke House and Formosa Cafe (any eatery for that matter really) where you can run into just about any celebrity on any day of the week. The weather and the beaches - the goes without saying.

I'm fortunate to have been involved with the Carl Wilson (The Beach Boys) Cancer Foundation. Or to have struck up a friendship and mentor-ish relationship with guys like The Waltons creator, Earl Hamner, Jr. or actor Bo Svenson. I think it's cool that I lived in a guesthouse in Bel Air for seven years and lived a very surreal life...experiencing a way of life very few people get to experience. It's unfortunate that the last two years of all that was soured because of the bitch who lives there. (That's one feeling I can't shake - I want that bitch to rot in hell.)

Sorry. Where was I? California. Yeh, I do feel some sense of accomplishment after having lived in your state for 11 1/4 years. Being The Beach Boys groupie that I am, it felt like the right place to be...to experience. I met Brian Wilson and rubbed elbows with Beach Boys' ex-wives, children, ex-/current band members (CW Cancer Foundation) and had the honor of becoming friends with Dennis Wilson's ex-wife, Karen Lamm about a year before she died. I met Ricci Martin, the son of my favorite all-around entertainer, Dean Martin, and feel fortunate to call him "a friend". I got my SAG card (like everyone else in the state), met a few celebs, shared some awesome Brett Favre moments with Donovan & Maria at their home in Tujunga, started a blog in March 2007, started a career as playwright - finishing 4 full-length plays, one play adapted from a movie, a one-act, seven short plays, published twice and traveled to Cedar Rapids, Ireland, Miami and Seattle to watch my work performed by others. I even won the jackpot as a "seal trainer" on To Tell The Truth.

No - I never met Mel. Never got to see The Walton's house on the Warner lot. Never tried surfing (sharks). Never made it north of Monterey. Never got laid in Santa Barbara (well, I didn't). Never saw a performance at the Greek Theatre or been to LACMA or The Getty. Blah, blah, blah. But I did a lot of other shit.

Next week my brother arrives and we'll do some visiting around Cali, then pack up the car (the bulk of my belongings have been shipped home already) and make the long drive back to Wisconsin. So - "all good things...", as the saying goes. And unless you (Cali) fall into the ocean, I will return at least once a year to visit you and my god daughter, my extended family in Santa Barbara and friends. Maybe then I'll be able to do some of the things I never got around to doing when I lived here.

In the words of the great Dennis Wilson, drummer and co-founder of The Beach Boys (like I was gonna end this post with anything but something Beach Boy-related), from his 1977 tune "River Song" :

"...You know it's rough gettin' round this place, So crowded I can hardly breathe, You can only see about a block or two, In LA that's the truth, I'm lookin' for some country life, Some kickin' room, no more city life, I want the river...".

River Song - Dennis Wilson

"See ya later, Val." Val & I at the Formosa in West Hollywood.

Saying goodbye to ex's can be...dicey? Not with Val. The Formosa Cafe in West Hollywood has been another Hollywood hangout for decades. My first visit since I moved to CA in 1998. The Lana Turner scene from LA Confidential was filmed here. Val and I had a few drinks and caught up. She's quite the talented lady - script supervisor, screenwriter, belly dancer, resume retoucher and medieval reenactor.

Hollywood haunts. I'm a history buff (and actor) so access to places like Formosa Cafe was nice. Next stop: Westwood Memorial, to say goodbye to Deano, Marilyn, John Cassavetes, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Bob Crane, Carroll O'Connor, and Carl Wilson - among others.

My friend, Michael Gregory. "See ya later, Michael!"

I hate saying "goodbye" to people. I'm moving back to Wisconsin soon - gotta be there by 9/12 to MC a golf tournament. So I don't say "goodbye" - I say, "see ya later". And I will.

So, I had lunch Wednesday at Silver Spoons in West Hollywood with my friend, actor Michael Gregory. We met years ago while I was working at PorchLight Entertainment and we were in the movie, Combustion, together. Helluva guy, that Michael. He worked as Dean Martin's bodyguard for 10 years. (Deano is my favorite all-around entertainer. His son, Ricci Martin, who I also know, used to refer to Gregory as, "Mike DaGard"or Mike DeGard - a moniker Michael uses from time to time.) Michael has starred in film, TV and theater, including: Terminator, RoboCop, Total Recall, Beverly Hills Cop, the original Dr. Rick Webber in General Hospital, Return of the Outlaws and Blue Eyes.

Michael's been involved with charity work for years. Veterans are the biggest heart tugger for him, including Iraq War vets. Two of his charities include Desert Thunder, a children's charity dedicated to raising donations that are distributed to children's service organizations in Southern California and Southern Nevada, and Stars and Stripes Foundation.

Above: Michael on his bike outside Silver Spoons, a Hollywood and celebrity gathering spot for decades. The waiter asked for Michael's autograph. Didn't ask for mine. Oh - forgot. The kindly gentleman pictured below was very helpful to me in finding the front door to the place (he was on the patio, as were we). Come to find out that the kindly gentleman was a friend of Michael's actor Robert Forster. He's at Silver Spoons every day.

Forster's film career was revived when Quentin Tarantino cast him in Jackie Brown. He's starred in Mulholland Drive, Charlies Angels: Full Throttle, Delta Force, Psycho (remake), TV series, "Heroes", among others. Forster saw Michael and he came over to our table and chatted with us. Nice guy. One of the things I'll miss about CA - you can run into anyone at anytime - anyplace.

As Mike DaGard says, "Make every day some kinda holiday!".

Separated at Birth? Christoph Walz and Stephen Rea.

Waltz in "Inglourious Basterds" ...

...and Rea in "Interview With A Vampire". I could have sworn Waltz WAS Rea. The picture in my head of Rea was from "Vampire". If I could've found a picture of Waltz smiling - they're dead ringers.

Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds" is a Jew's wet dream.

I keep describing the movie that way but if you saw it, you'd agree. And I don't mean any disrespect to Jewish people...just see the movie. You'll say, "you're right - it is a Jew's wet dream". It's supposed to be.

Went to see it Monday night with Donovan. The shot above is from the opening scene - one of the two best scenes in the movie. The other one was the scene in the tavern in a basement. Both were excellent. Donovan enjoyed the movie more than I did, though he had some issues as I did. "Tonally inconsistent"...his choice of words. I agree. Brad Pitt's character seemed like he should be in a different movie - his character, the leader of the Inglourious Basterds, was more caricature than anything. The Italian cinema scene with Pitt and two of the Basterds? Same thing - different movie. The Jewish soldiers that comprise the Basterds had no depth whatsoever, save for Pitt and Til Schweiger, whose character is a disgruntled German soldier the Basterds recruit to fight on their side. I felt mislead. I thought this was a film about the Basterds and it wasn't. It was a film that had a couple plot points interwoven and the Basterds were a part of that. If you're going because you're thinking, "Dirty Dozen" - don't. It's doesn't hold a candle to that movie.

Christoph Waltz (pictured above, right) is by far the strongest character. He'll get nominated for something. Eli Roth, who played the Basterd, "The Bear" (the guy holding the bat in the trailer) - again, there's hardly any depth to any of those guys. That's all Roth does. I can't believe they paid him for what I'm assuming was an extraordinary amount of money. B.J. Novak sucks in everything I've seen him act in ("The Office"). I seriously wanna punch him. The female leads are both strong.

I love war movies. I love blood and guts. Normally I'd say if you saw the trailer on TV...that's your movie. But those two scenes I mentioned earlier are worth seeing. They're about 20 minutes each. So 40 minutes for $11.75 a ticket? B-. Maybe.

Teddy Roosevelt says get off Brett Favre's ass!

To all you sports columnists and hack writers (including FoxSports.com) who dare to call Brett Favre a "waffler", yet waffle yourself every week when you pick teams across the board to win or lose. To all you Packer fans who, not long ago, would've done ANYTHING to defend the good name of your 16-year QB - the QB who helped bring the Green Bay Packers back to relevance. To all of you who think you know the reasons why Brett does what he does - who can miraculously read his mind. To all you hypocrites who say Favre is a baby - a selfish egomaniac; who are bitching that he's now playing for the Minnesota Vikings and how it tears your heart out so much so that you've relegated yourself to hitting Favre pinatas and burning or throwing out your Favre jerseys or wearing shirts that say, "Traitor Brett" or "We'll never forget you, BRENT". To all football fans in general. Look in the mirror. Look at the baby and the selfish egomaniac in the mirror and then read this:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

President Theodore Roosevelt was a great man. Those were his words. Think about them before you put your dumb cheesehead on (which I never liked in the 42 years I was a Packer fan). I'd eat TR's shit before I'd give blood to Packer GM TT (Ted Thompson) and any of you hypocritical bastards (unless I know you and you're really bleeding to death...but I will charge you for it). I hope the Vikings kick the shit out of the Packers 2x and then I hope - as has happened in the past - that the domestic violence rate skyrockets and you all pummel the shit out of each other.

And if you're gonna be morons and burn or toss out your Favre GB jersey...don't be a total dumb ass. Give it to me or my brother.

Purple never was a good color for me...

...but I'm supporting Brett Favre (as I did last year when he played for the Jets) as a Minnesota Viking.

And don't tell me I was never a Packer fan and just a Favre fan. I was a Green Bay Packer fan for as long as I can remember...long before Favre joined them in 1992. I have nothing against the GB TEAM but I won't support them as long as the GB Packers current management is in place. Now...now I have to cheer for a team that has been a bitter rival.


GO FAVRE IN 2009!

Call 1-800-950-7529 for your Heuer Publishing catalog today!

My publisher just came out with its 2009-2010 catalog. My award-winning, 10-minute play, "Pass the Salt, Please." is now in it - as is my full-length play, "Stan's Addiction". If you're in any way involved your theater's play selection, get this catalog. It's FREE - call 1-800-950-7529. Check out Heuer's website here.

Incidentally, the lastest edition of my self-published photography book, Passion = truth, a photographic essay of life's truths, is available on this blog (check widget on right panel, near top) or at Blurb.com. It's 130 pages chock full of artsy pictures. You know, it's not too early to order that coffee table book for a Christmas gift. Softcover version is the only edition I'm making available - $49.00.

Singing to my god daughter, Gwyneth.

I was practicing this traditional Irish drinking song for my trip to Ireland in late September. It's called, "Here's A Health to the Company". I sang it once for a girl I love...thought I'd practice for another girl I love - my god daughter, Gwyneth.

I want FoxSports.com to choke on its own vomit.

My battle with FoxSports.com is neverending it seems. They're biased hatred of Brett Favre knows no boundaries. Sure - when he's doing well they're up his ass like any other Favre fan but when Brett slips, they cut the umbilical cord faster than I could say "KriegelScheinHenchMarvezandGlazer can eat my shit".

I'm not saying they have to love Favre. All am asking is reporting that doesn't resemble The National Enquirer. And when these hacks throw personal opinion into their "stories", try and be a little more unbiased. Example, here's the poll they had up on their site today:

I mean, seriously? Why didn't they just have a third choice: "dies"? I'm beyond disgust with these assholes. And I have to put up with their bile for another football season.

Jeff knows Bo.

"Brother Jeff - Write on! Act on! Live on!" Bo Svenson.

I first met Bo, ohhhh....6 months ago or so. We've stayed in touch. I've read his screenplay (above, which I enjoyed). I met Bo at his home Friday. Beautiful place. Gorgeous garden - I must've seen 10-15 hummingbirds feeding. Never have I seen so many in one place. Spectacular view of the ocean. Wanted to say "see you later" (my move back home). Wonderful man. We had such a good time that he invited me and my brother back with Jason gets here to drive me back to Wisconsin. Jas is excited.

Bo as Reverend Harmony in Kill Bill II. Tarantino loves films from the 70's, particularly Italian cinema.

Bo starred in the original The Inglorious Bastards with Jim Brown. Tarantino's premise in his new film is similar. Bo also has a cameo in Tarantino's "remake".

Bo played Jo Bob Priddy in North Dallas Forty, alongside Mac Davis, Nick Nolte and John Matuszak (pictured above with Bo) and the gorgeous Dayle Haddon. Walking Tall's another film you may remember Bo from. He owns his own production company, is a producer, writer, director and Judo champion (and still competing).

Stay tuned for more on my visits with Bo.

Milwaukee Mayor Barrett ain't no creampuff.

Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett were attending the Wisconsin State Fair when the mayor hears a woman yelling for someone to call 911 (this is outside the fair grounds). The mayor responds to the women and gets into fisticuffs with some punk who was assaulting the girl.

The mayor had a few scrapes and bruises. The punk is in custody. Great story.

Come on, everyone! Let's whack the Favre pinata!

Wow...disgruntled Green Bay Packer fans whose lives have been shattered because Brett Favre came out of retirement once again to play for the Packers' rival, the Minnesota Vikings, paid to take a whack out of a Brett Favre pinata this past Friday at a restaurant(?) in Middelton, which is adjacent to Madison.

Hilarious. These are the same people who worshipped Favre during his 16-year tenure at GB. These are the same people who now call Favre "selfish". Take a long look in the mirror, folks. Look in the mirror now that you've burned your Favre jersey (as ex-Viking QB Fran Tarkenton said you should do) or whacked that Favre pinata at Quaker Steak and Lube in Middleton this past Friday. Steak & a lube & a whack. Fun.

Hypocrites. Look at my gorgeous goddaughter above. What else will you whack because your life sucks now that Brett's a Viking?

Jeremy Piven is not cocky or loudmouthed.

The actor recently told the Dallas News that his Ari Gold persona on Entourage of a cock, loudmouthed agent is on-screen only.

I beg to differ. I know two people whose opinions I trust beyond a shadow of a doubt. One met him while he visited the set of a movie she was in and one worked with him for an entire movie shoot (my friend was on the crew - very high up on the crew). Both said he's a dick.

And that seems to be the consensus from everyone else I talked to. He's great on Entourage - don't get me wrong. Piven saying he's not cocky or loudmouthed is like Piven saying he got mercury poisoning and that's why he had to drop out of "Speed-the-Plow".

I ain't buying it.

"You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they get older." Anouk Aimee

For 4 days last week I was house sitting for my ex-boss in Westlake Village (affluent town as you head west on the 101) and part of my responsibilities included preparing evening meals (sometimes breakfast) for Bruce's inlaws who are elderly and in need of some assistance. I did this at Christmas for a week. Quite a pleasurable experience. Not counting our own families, I believe we as a society take the elderly for granted. We forget that they were our ages at one time. We forget they had the same needs, wants and opinions as we have. We forget that one day we will be just like them. One day.

Every now and then Bill and his wife would reference the negatives associated with aging - the physical wear and tear, or not remembering things. Quite evident when I took Bill out for a "walk" in his wheelchair (only when he leaves his house). But he doesn't complain. He's appreciative that he can get out and enjoy the nice weather. As I was helping Bill maneuver through the Internet and figure out his ITunes (he IS 86), we listened to some of the music he had downloaded (or maybe someone downloaded it for him - his eyes aren't what they used to be so I was reminding him what tunes he had downloaded), we listened to Andy Williams, Frank Sinatra, Glen Miller and others. Bill's a big fan of James Taylor, don't you know? Listening to those songs - "Moonlight Serenade", "In the Mood" and "In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning" - I recalled how much I love them and appreciated what Bill and I have in common. Remember, he and his wife are members of The Greatest Generation. To take them for granted would be a travesty.

Coincidentally, the following story was emailed to me yesterday by my close friend, Lord Michael Brown, a family friend and 6th Baron and Lord of the Barony of Oranmore and Browne.

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in Australia, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. When the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in magazines for mental health. And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.


"Cranky Old Man"

What do you see nurses? What do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice the things that you do.
And forever is losing a sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of Ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty, my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me to see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my wife is now dead.
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years, and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass, a young man still dwells,

And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joys, I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years, all too few gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, open and see.
Not a cranky old man. Look closer . . . . see - ME!!

TGIF! presents...Huff 'N Doback's "Boats 'N Hoes" from "Stepbrothers"!

This song is dedicated to all of you who've been sucked into a convoluted world where athletes like Plaxico Burress, Michael Vick and Donte Stallworth (et al) can be found to be armed & dangerous, kill dogs for sport and drink & drive & kill people, yet seemingly don't get anywhere close to the headlines or press as someone like Brett Favre - a man who has been weighed, measured, and found WANTING...to play football in the NFL.

Forget Favre...let's celebrate those other guys. Yo, yo!! Boats 'N Hoes! Boats 'N Hoes! Ain't that right, homey? YO!

(If you wanna sing along with the song, click on READ MORE! for the lyrics.)



(boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes!
boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2)

The nina, the pinta, the santa maria
I'll do you on the bottom while you drink a Sangria

Nachos, lemonheads, and my dad's boat
You wont go down cuz my dick can float

We sail around the world and go port to port
Everytime I cum I produce a quart
Put on your lifevest, lets drop anchor
(oh) that's a nice lady, who I'd like to spank her

(boats n' hoes
Boats and hoes, I gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2 )

Deadliest catch, without the crabs
We're almost out of gas,
Call the arabs!
I'm a pussy pirate my name is Jack Sparrow
I'll take off my pants she can see my flesh arrow

Make sure to wax
Use your mom's Nair
You'll be amazed when i cum in your hair
Pull up the anchor, cause we are leavin dry land
Get below deck, with a dick in your hand!

Anchors away, and shiver me timbers,
we like to fuck ladies with our eight-inch members!
Love me hookers who be a curvy,
eatin lemons and lime no don't contractin the scurvy!
Drop the archor give the hoe a shout,
cuz I'm usin my compass to find a nabby dugout!

(boats n' hoes
Boats and hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x3 )

Thats the male Mariah Carey y'all, give it up!

ESPN's Jemele Hill needs a bitch-slapping.

ESPN's Jemele Hill to Packers Fans - Batteries at Favre
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Just yesterday, this hack wrote an article chastising Favre on ESPN.com and 95% of the comments were anti-Jemele Hill (regardless of whether the comments were pro-Favre or anti-Favre). Pathetic piece of trash. Her article. Hill stated Favre was harming his legacy by flip-flopping on retiring AND by playing for the Minnesota Vikings, a hated Packer rival. That's odd -how flippant Hill was when she illustrated (however poorly it was written) how these events might tarnish Favre's image, yet weeks ago she wrote an article about Steve McNair, saying, "Steve's faults should not weigh on his legacy." OK.

A few hours after her piece of shit article on ESPN.com was getting bombarded by readers' negative comments, Hill goes on ESPN's "First Take" and encouraged Packers' fans to give Brett Favre the "Duracell Treatment" during his return game against the Packers at Lambeau Field. She said to Packer fans:

HILL: "Listen to me, okay? If you have a shred of pride you will give Brett Favre the Duracell treatment when he comes to Lambeau Field."

OTHER GUYS: The Duracell treatment, what's that?

HILL: "Batteries! Batteries!" (She was saying to throw batteries at Favre while he's on the field.)

THIS - an ESPN "reporter"? You're joking? ESPN issued this apology:

And this isn't the first time Hill stuck her foot in her mouth. She was suspended for comparing the Boston Celtics to "Hitler" and "Nuclear War". Sorry - I shouldn't have said "her mouth". She needs to stick her head up her ass. And she should be fired and arrested for inciting a mob to riot. I'm serious.

Soooooo...if you're looking to book Jemele Hill for your next event, fill out this form. It'll cost you between $2,500 - $5,000 to hear her insult your party guests and incite them to riot.

Enjoy the Jailhouse Rock, Plax! WORD!

Hope it was worth it, tough guy. You - Mr. Cowboy. Mr. Gangsta. Loaded weapon in a nightclub. You're one bad mama jama, Plax. Ya...your team beat the Packers in OT and went on to win the Super Bowl. Great memories...and great memories to hold you over for the 2 years you're gonna spend in the pen, Bitch! Ain't so tough, be'in tough. This song's for you, BRO!

Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

(Funny...people can say all they want about Brett Favre. But Brett ain't spending time behind bars for drinking/driving and killing someone or killing dogs or failing dope tests...or carrying loaded weapons into nightclubs. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.)

Part 2/Bitter Fran. Someone sedate Fran Tarkenton...for my own good.

I blogged about the bitter, old, ex-Viking QB in May. Well, Fran's back. Maybe he's pissed 'cause his jersey wasn't offered up for sale on FoxSports.com (see comments below).

"I really have no interest in what Brett Favre does. He kind of lost me a few years ago by retiring and unretiring and here and there," Bitter Fran said on "The Opening Drive" on Sirius NFL Radio. "I asked a few friends here, maybe 10 or 12 people we were out with last night. I said, 'What do you think about Brett Favre going back to the Vikings?' You know who cared? Nobody." THEN WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HIM (AGAIN) ON SIRIUS RADIO, YOU ASSHOLE?! HYPOCRITE!

"I think he has been a great flamboyant quarterback, but he has made more stupid plays than any great quarterback that I've ever seen. Look at his final game in a Packers uniform. He blew that game [NFC championship] against the Giants," Bitter Fran said in late May on KFAN-1130 in the Twin Cities. YOU BLEW 3 SUPER BOWLS, FRAN! HYPOCRITE!

"Wouldn't you be upset if you're a Packer fan? I think you're going to have Packer fans burning the No. 4 Favre Green Bay jersey. I think the Packer fans have every right to be outraged." BURN YOUR JERSEYS...THAT'S RIGHT. NO - WAIT...GIVE THEM TO ME! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, BURN BOOKS...AND WITCHES TOO!

(Paraphrasing Bitter Fran's comment in May) "I hope he signs with the Vikings and I hope he fails." IF FAVRE FAILS, DOESN'T YOUR EX-TEAM THE VIKINGS FAIL? AREN'T YOU BEING HYPOCRITICAL AND SELFISH JUST AS YOU HAVE ACCUSED FAVRE OF BEING? HYPOCRITE!

Get a grip, bitter, old man.

"Timeline of Favre lies". FoxSports.com is pathetic.

My comment on FoxSports.com regarding Mark "Bonaduce" Kriegel's Timeline of Favre lies story:

"timeline of lies?. hahaha. now who thought that one up? surely not Bonaduce. quite the dramatics. i mean, like Favre's actions have any consequence on any of our lives - like war in Iraq, the economy, unemployment, health care, etc. 'TIMELINE OF FAVRE'S LLLLLLIES!!!' it's like 'AND THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES'. i can see where Favre not making up his mind is akin to killing dogs and shooting off guns in public, drugs, drinking and driving and killing people...yeah, indecisiveness off the field...yeah...TIMELINE OF FAVRE'S LIES!!!!!! funny stuff. and that intro, "Turns out that Brett Favre has something in common with his fans. My opinions are wasted on all of them."...classic! Bonaduce finally admits his opinions are wastes of time on us readers. I LOVE THIS! precious. and the LAKERFAN SINCE 1980 - saying you wish Bledsoe woulda got Brett's SB ring....another classic! i love this little fairy tale world some of you people live in. funny, cause i wish Kriegel Bonaduce would get hit by a bus every day of my life.

Alex "Dumb Ponytail" Marvez has another beaut article up as well. It boggles my mind how such hacks can get paid to write the shit they do. Boggles...my...mind.

Whores.

Favre + Vikings. Front page headlines.

Course...it depends on who you talk to. Obviously, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and Green Bay Gazette aren't too happy. Minnesota papers like the St. Cloud Times, Pioneer Press, Duluth News and Free Press are optimistic - even giddy - that Brett Favre brings leadership and diversity to the Minnesota Vikings that the team didn't have before. Or the NY Daily News - who's just plain pissed (along with columnist Gary Myers) that the Jets fell apart at the end of last season after starting 8-3. Fuck NY. That city, the press and those fans (long-time Jets' fans) crowned the Jets SB bound at 8-3. And the media there basically blamed the 1-4 year-end tumble on Brett. That's on THEIR heads.

Time will tell. I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy this for now. GO FAVRE IN 2009! Jealous bastards.