Dear Asshole...

Dear Asshole Who Didn't Clean Up After Their Dog,


I don't know what you've been feeding that pet of yours, but it left a pile of human-sized turds in the middle of the sidewalk. Guess what? This isn't Fido's personal toilet, you asshole! It's a public sidewalk and no one in the neighborhhod wants to walk by, inhale, step in, or otherwise interact with his shit. It's time for you to embrace the responsibilites of pet ownnership. Attach some plastic baggies to your hand. Buy yourself a pooper scooper. Anything. Because the next time you fail to clean up after your dog's dump, I'm going to follow you home and smear it on your pillow. Comprende?


Smooches.


PS Cesar Millan called. He said you were an asshole.

Someone stole my idea. Dang! And, it's written by two women! Nice. Hey assholes, next time your write a book, try including page numbers.