Bed is the poor man's opera.

That's an old Italian proverb. When I moved back to Wisconsin from Los Angeles, I promised myself that when I got my own place, I was gonna go all out on a bed - if that was the only piece of furniture I had. The last time I had a fairly decent bed was when I lived in Iowa - a double. No footboard or headboard. My bed in Bel Air for 7 years was two twins pushed together. My bed in Culver City was a blow-up mattress for 2 years which I had to deflate every morning and blow up every evening.

No more. I have created my perfect bed. Tina's guest bed in Irving Park might be the closest thing to the comfort I feel when my head hits the pillows in my new Greendale home. Seriously, I prolong going to sleep at night 'cause I want the excitement to build another half hour. Haven't had ONE restless night yet.

The bed - the most important piece of furniture you can own. "The Bed"...a song from the tribal love-rock musical, HAIR (which I was naked in). Here's a recording from the ORIGINAL Broadway version back in 1968, I think. The words are below.

Oh the bed

Oooh the bed
Ahhh the bed
Oh the bed
Mmmm the bed
I love the bed

You can lie in bed
You can lay in bed
You can die in bed
You can pray in bed
You can live in bed
You can laugh in bed
You can give your heart
Or break your heart in half in bed

You can tease in bed
You can please in bed
You can squeeze in bed
You can freeze in bed
You can sneeze in bed
Catch the fleas in bed
All of these
Plus eat crackers and cheese in bed

Oh the bed is a thing
Of feather and spring
Of wire and wood
Invention so good

Oh the bed comes complete
With pillow and sheet
With blanket electric
And breath antiseptic

Let there be sheets
Let there be beds
Foam rubber pillows
Under our heads

Let there be sighs
Filling the room
Scanty pajamas
By Fruit of the Loom

You can eat in bed
You can beat in bed
Be in heat in bed
Have a treat in bed
You can rock in bed
You can roll in bed
Find your cock in bed
Lose your soul in bed

You can lose in bed
You can win in bed
But never never never never
Never never never never
Never never never
Never can you sin in bed!