Monday, July 7, 2008

Must be a slow day in Hollywood. Scarlett, Paris and Gyllenhaal talking but not saying much.


Internet Movie Database (IMDB) posts daily news items on it's Internet site. I've included three of those items posted today - in an abbreviated form:

Hilton Set To Team With Spears + Lohan In Reality Show
7 July 2008 12:11 PM, PDT
Paris Hilton is hoping to team up with fellow tabloid targets Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan for a new reality show about their lives in the spotlight.

Gyllenhaal Sought Holmes' Batman Approval
7 July 2008 12:11 PM, PDT
Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal almost rejected her role in upcoming film The Dark Knight - until she was assured her casting was approved by Batman predecessor Katie Holmes, allowing her the freedom to create a new character for the role with Holmes' blessing. She says, "If I'm going to do what I do well, I have to be free to do it."

Johansson: 'Monogamy Is Hard'
7 July 2008 12:11 PM, PDT
So is my dick. Sorry. Scarlett Johansson is convinced her relationship with fiance Ryan Reynolds will last, because they are among the few humans who can be monogamous. The actress claims remaining faithful to one partner is "hard work" and not natural. "Monogamy can be hard work for some people. I don't think it applies to everybody, and I don't think a lot of people can do it." But Johansson insists she is among those who can resist the temptation to cheat.

Please tell me there isn't more important news in the entertainment industry than this crap?First of all, who cares about any news having to do with Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears? And the fact that it has to do with another lame reality show is another knife in the collective public's back. The glut of shit on TV under the "reality" umbrella truly represents a dumbing down of America (admittedly, I've watched a handful of shows myself - a handful) and this genre of entertainment needs to disappear sooner than later. Here's an idea: include Jessica Simpson in the show. Then fire the writers and hire me. I will put all four women on a train, then have the train crash. End of show. "Spears, Lohan, Simpson and Hilton involved in train wreck." That's news.

Secondly, why does Maggie Gyllenhaal feel the need to consult the actress who formerly played her part in the Batman series? It's not like Gyllenhaal is taking over the role of Batman or of Indiana Jones or Inspector Clouseau or some other iconic role. Just "act", Maggie, and don't worry about what the "great" Katie Holmes may think of you taking over her role as Batman's love interest. I doubt the movie-going public will notice.

Thirdly, I don't care that Scarlett Johansson thinks she and her fiance can remain monogamous. I don't care about your sex life, Scarlett - unless I'm the one you're sleeping with. And please don't speak for me and assume that I can't be monogamous. The fact that Johansson states being monogamous is hard work and not the natural instinct of human beings...WOW! - what a revelation. I'll have to remember to send all my future sex education inquiries to S. Johansson so I can make sure I've got it right. And, if I ever find out she and Ryan Reynolds break up over an affair, I will publicly roast her ass on this blog.

Fourth, who is the editor making decisions to place these news items on IMDB? The editor of a 3rd-rate high school newspaper has more editing savvy than that.

Just shut up. All of you.

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