Monday, November 5, 2007

FAUX Dick-of-the-Week Sportswriter - Guest Spot

That guest spot is me. I'm gonna pretend I'm some know-it-all sports columnist and that this is my take on the Packer victory over the 3 1/2 point favorite Kansas City Chiefs at Arrowhead. Sport columnists love to create controversy by saying really stupid things because they think they're popular and that everyone reads their articles:

'Hi, this is J. Easterbrooksimmonsbarrasschein-and-any-other-dumbass-sports-columnist-who-can't-handle-the-Packers'-success. It is true the Green Bay Packers defeated the KC Chiefs Sunday at Arrowhead, 33-22. But what iffffffffffffff....

...Charles Woodson hadn't intercepted Huard near the end? 26-22. KC might still have the ball and drive in for a TD to win the game. Chiefs win!

...Favre doesn't throw that 40 yard pass to Driver to set up the 4th FG for Crosby? Now it's 23-22. Ooooo - it's still close.

...Favre doesn't launch a 60 yard pass off his back foot to Greg Jennings for the go-ahead TD and lead in the game? 16-22. Now the Pack is behind.

...Crosby misses his 3rd of the 4 FG's he kicked? 13-22.

...Favre's laser to Jennings is dropped 'cause the ball was thrown too hard and Jenning's can't handle it? 6-22.

...Crosby misses his 1st and 2nd FG's? 0-22.

Ya see...if all that happened the Chiefs would have won and improved to 5-3.'


Now do you understand why I get pissed every week when I have to read bullshit stories like this?

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