"Kepeli"

(I first published this post on July 17, 2007, then again on June 19, 2008, then in 2009...so I'm a bit late this year. It's a good tradition - summer. This is one of my all-time favorite posts on PASSION = TRUTH. Read it.)

"Kepeli" means, "Jeffrey", in Hawaiian. It also means...it's Summertime! Did you forget? Come on! Remember how you enjoyed it as a kid? Just 'cause you're longer in the tooth than you were 20, 30 or 40 years ago doesn't mean you have to be wallflower. So - "Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow"! Let's make it a tropical, surf's up, Hawaiian summer and I'll supply the lei! Wink, wink.

1.) Rent Blue Hawaii - my favorite Elvis movie. Featuring classics like Blue Hawaii, Ku-u-i-pu, Rock A Hula Baby, Ito Eats, Slicin' Sand, Can't Help Falling in Love and the gorgeous Joan Blackman who plays Elvis' love interest (and who I heard is a bit cuckoo these days).

2.) "Aloha". Learn to speak Hawaiian. Seriously, this website is one of the oddest, most useless websites I've ever been on. But you've gotta check it out.

3.) Go ahead - try a fruity drink. Mai Tai, Blue Hawaiian, Hula Dancer, Pink Panties Dropper, Sex on the Beach, Waverider or Zombie. (Ask my Aunt Evelyn about Mai Tai's ...ralphhh!). And throw an umbrella in it (if it's not there already). No one will question your manhood, boys. At least, not in front of you. Mmmmmmm...good!

4.) Go to the beach, lake - or pond...pond would be good for you. And live for once and use Coppertone #4 Dark Tanning Lotion. It won't kill you - at least, right now it won't.

5.) When was the last time you did The Twist or The Swim? Slap a Beach Boys (my favorite) or Jan & Dean (2nd fav) CD on and let'er rip! Here's a classic Beach Boys' tune, "Do It Again" to watch on Youtube. Also there's plenty of other surf music to choose from - The Chantels, The Ventures, The Surfaris, Dick Dale, The Hondells, and plenty of 80's and modern surf music to get those chicks a-dancin'.

6.) Learn to surf. Easier said then done, according to my best friend, Tom Kazar. My brother, Jason, is itchin' to learn - me too, actually. But it's the sharks, you see. Fear not! You don't have to be on the coast to "shoot the curl". There are a ton of waterparks with wave-makers that will simulate surfing. Cowabunga, dork!

7.) Get a vintage Hawaiian print shirt. Or look in your dad's closet to see if he's not using his.

8.) The Endless Summer. A 1966 classic surf documentary you should check out. Was re-made in 1994 and updated.

9.) Oh, yah. It's time to take down those gorgeous Christmas icicle lights hanging off the rain gutter and replace them with Tiki lights and other assorted Tiki decor. Go ahead - it'll all be OK. Christmas is only five months away.

10.) Now...with your movies & music, fruity drinks, Dad's vintage Hawaiian print shirt, you smelling like you just Hung 10 down at Rincon - throw a barbecue and impress your friends with your surfing expertise and your knowledge of the native Hawaiian tongue. This is a "surf-fire" way to welcome summer with open arms in the hopes she'll never end.

(And if you see a tie hanging outside my little grass shack, don't come a-knockin'!)